BACHELOR PARTIES:
A New Spin on an Old Tradition
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The bachelor party had its very civilized beginnings as a gentlemen's
party, during which male friends and relatives joined the groom for a
highbrow evening in the drawing-room, spent drinking and smoking. It was
oftentimes a very formal, black-tie dinner-party, hosted by the groom's
father or the best man. The evening culminated in a toast to the bride's
health.
Over time, however, the bachelor party turned from an evening in which
the codes of gentlemanly behavior were strictly adhered to into a party
that became an excuse to break rules, one last time, and get drunk. The
bachelor party, as a pre-wedding tradition, is still very much alive and
well, but it, like many other wedding traditions, continues to go through
changes and appears in many cases to have come back to being a civilized
salute to the groom.
No doubt there are still bachelor parties that are no-holds-barred stag
parties, complete with strippers jumping from cakes, x-rated videos, and
party crashers. The best man would do well not to assume that the groom
wants a big blowout with "female entertainment." Most of today's grooms
are responsible men who don't wish to do anything they wouldn't normally do at a party, and, especially wouldn't want to do anything to upset their fiancées.
It appears that the newest trend in bachelor parties still calls for fun,
but the parties are well organized and well-planned events, with an
emphasis on sensitivity that reflect the groom-to-be's interests.
According to a survey conducted by one of the top wedding magazines,
68% of those who responded were fairly certain that today, the bride
would be comfortable with what was going on at the bachelor party.
That certainly is a far cry from what the response probably would have
been not too many years ago.
Perhaps the key word with regard to the flavor
of many of today's bachelor parties is "alternatives." There seem
to be many alternative party ideas, activities and venues. Bachelor parties
an take place almost anywhere. Be creative. The trend now is toward
weekend-long events involving extreme sports, gambling, or camping. Parties may take the form and venue of
fishing trips, surfing excursion, cigar bar, watching movies, wine or beer
tasting, weekend trip to a resort, the back room of the favorite bar or
tavern, pool hall, billiards room, paintball field, private room in a
restaurant, private box at a stadium or arena (during a favorite sports
event), cabin or campsite. A creative best man, with help of the ushers,
can prepare an agenda of entertainment that could include roasting the
groom, gambling (a portion of the winnings can go the groom), or
competitions (darts, bowling, etc.).
The party still remains the responsibility of
the best man. In most cases,
either the best man alone or both the best man and the groom chip in to
pay for the party. In some cases, each of the guests helps with the
finances. The current trend indicates that the bachelor party is an
intimate event to be shared by anywhere between eight and ten guests.
Traditionally the guests should include the best man, all the
ushers/groomsmen, any brothers of the grooms and the bride, and the
fathers of both the groom and the bride. Usually, the father arrive and
leave early.
If you think the night before the wedding is the perfect time for a
bachelor bash, think again. The last thing a nervous groom needs on
his wedding day is a hangover. It's best to hold bachelor party at least
two weeks before the wedding, so that all in attendance will be in good
shape for the wedding. Scheduling the party up to a month before the
wedding is acceptable. To avoid scheduling conflicts, it's a good idea
to send out invitations or make calls at least three weeks before the
party. The guest list should be kept manageable. Open-ended invitations
in which guests may bring other friends, may create an impersonal crowd
that well may result in losing the point of the event, the sharing of a
special moment with a few special friends. Most grooms know about their
upcoming bachelor party and most bachelor parties still remain an all-male
event.
Here are some tips to keep the party safe and enjoyable:
1. Make sure people don't drive home drunk. Provide a taxi service or car
service available to take guests home at the end of the evening. If that
doesn't fit the budget, assign designated drivers for the evening.
2. If activities are expected to go well into the evening, make
arrangements, in advance, for late-night food delivery.
3. Don't forget the camera and/or the camcorder.
4. Keep in mind that, in all likelihood, the bride will find out what
took place at the party. Be certain that the party will not compromise
the relationship between the groom and prospective bride. Good taste
goes along way!
The tradition of the bachelor party is an old one. New spins and new
sensitivities merely help to make a good thing better.
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