Shall We Dance?
. . . and First Dance Song Suggestions
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Dancing at your wedding reception is a wonderful way to celebrate your special day with your friends and family. There are some traditions relating to "first dances" that are worth following.

After the bride and groom are formally introduced to their guests as "Mr. and Mrs.," the couple shares their first dance, as their special song is played. The lights may be dimmed to add to the romantic atmosphere, or, should the couple choose a "raucous song," the lights may be turned up high and the spotlight turned on them.

The process of choosing a song for your first dance is fairly simple. Begin by selecting the type of dance that you would like to do. The foxtrot, swing, and waltz are popular choices, but slow dancing, rumba, or any dance you enjoy, is fine. Next you'll need to find a song that fits that type of dance. Many couples don't know how to dance together and, if that's the case, it needs to be addressed when deciding on the song. If you select a song, but are unsure what dance would be appropriate, you can bring a recording to a local dance teacher, or look it up on one of the many wedding song listings on-line. Check song and web site suggestions following this article.

That brings us to the question of whether couples should take dance lessons together before their wedding day. If you have never done any partner dancing before, pre-wedding is the perfect time for you to start. The "payoff" is that you will have found an activity you can share and enjoy for the rest of your lives together. A word of warning . . . if you have decided to take dance lessons only because you feel that some sort of "performance" is expected of you, that's a bad reason to start dance lessons and certainly not conducive to success. As a couple, you will need to decide whether you have the inclination to learn how to dance and whether you have the time available to do so. Any local ballroom will have several teachers with experience in helping wedding couples (make sure that your teacher does), and if money and busy schedules are problems, there are several good instructional videos available that cater specifically to wedding couples.

After the bride and groom have danced for a while (about 2 minutes is enough time), the father of the bride will cut in on the groom and dance with his daughter. The music may change again to suit the change of partners. The groom "leaves" his bride and asks the bride's mother to dance. After an appropriate amount of time, the groom's father cuts in on the bride's father and then he dances with the bride, his new daughter-in-law. Next, the bride's father cuts in on the groom and dances with his (own) wife. The groom will then ask his mother to dance. Next, the parents change partners with their in-laws. The best man comes out to ask the bride to dance and the groom dances with the maid or matron of honor. To complete the wedding dance tradition, the entire wedding party, ushers and bridesmaids come out onto the dance floor and join in the dancing. Once the entire wedding party is on the dance floor, all the guests are invited to participate.

This process is a relatively simple one, made even easier when the couple discuss the particulars, well in advance, with whomever is supplying the music. The couple should make it clear exactly when they would like the father of the bride to cut in, so that it is not done too late or too early. A good MC, band leader or DJ, playing the right music and coming in on cue, can make this tradition run smoothly and create a lovely beginning to any reception.

Here are some web sites with wedding song lists:
http://www.weddingromance.com/music/index.html
http://www.weddingtips.com/wt-first-dance-songs.html
http://www.wedalert.com/songs/index.shtml
http://california-bride.com/wtfavori.html

Here are some First Dance song suggestions from Sharon Ashe*: