Click Here to E-mail this Page to a Friend.When it comes to wedding traditions, the Japanese is one of the most
colorful cultures. For the bride wishing to adhere strictly to her background, the numbers of
details in a traditional Japanese wedding may be somewhat staggering, as can be the cost, but
anyone who has been a guest at a Japanese wedding will tell you that the results are more than
worth both the effort and the expense. Tradition Japanese wedding are simply magnificent.
Whether today's bride wishes to follow all the traditions, or incorporate just some, she has a
smorgasbord of rituals from which to pick. This article focuses on such traditonal Japanese customs,
albeit, for the most part today, the tradition of prearranged marriages has become a thing of
the past. In the year 1991, 12% of all the marriages were still considered arranged, mostly in
the countryside. In 1973 this percentage was 40%.
Arranged marriages
Until not long ago, marriages in Japan were arranged by the parents of the man and woman.
A mutual friend would be the matchmaker. Once both families agreed upon the match,
they would meet at a formal dinner on a day that the Japanese almanac deemed auspicious."
After the dinner,"Yui-no" (engagement) gifts, meant to symbolize happiness and fortune,
were exchanged. The "Mokuroku" was the list of gifts which would be exchanged:
Most important amongst the gifts for a bride-to-be was an "obi," a traditonal kimono sash. It represented female virtue.
Schedule
The most popular time of year for Japanese weddings is spring, with June being the first choice. Couples will try to select a tomobiki day on which to schedule their nuptials. Tomobiki, which means drawing friends, is considered the most auspicious day for a wedding. These days are calculated according to the ancient Japanese calendar and, because they are select dates, must be booked well in advance.
Ceremony Locations
Traditional Japanese wedding ceremonies are either Buddhist or Shinto, with the Shinto (meaning the way of the Kami/gods) religion dominant. The religious Shinto ceremony is held at a shrine. Shinto, literally translated as"the way of the gods" is the indigenous religion of, and is as old as, Japan herself. It is Japan's major religion besides Buddhism. Shinto shrines are places of worship and considered to be the dwellings of the kami, or Shinto gods. Sacred objects of worship that represent the kami are stored out of sight in the innermost chamber. The shrine is where people visit to pay their respects to the gods and pray the gift of good fortune. They are, therefore " Logical " places to hold a wedding ceremony. In Japan today, the shine may be moved into the venue at which the reception will take place.
Wedding Attire
Both the bride and the groom wear the traditional kimono for the ceremony. Couples today may change into Western wear at the reception. The bride and groom completely change their outfits three or more times. The custom dates from the 14th century and is called "oironaoshi." It signifies the bride's preparedness to resume everyday life. The bride's traditional wedding costume is called a shiro-muku, a white silk "undergarment" that meaning literally "white pure," a kimono she will usually wear at the beginning of the ceremony. During the ceremony, she will put on other, more elaborate kimonos, over the white one.
If the bride gets married in a traditional white wedding kimono, she may choose to come to the reception in a colorful embroidered kimono and then, if she so chooses, to change again, this time into typical western-wear. If she attends her ceremony in western garb, she may conversely come to the reception in a wedding dress, from which she changes into a wedding kimono and then into a party dress.
Donning a kimono is no easy task, so both he bride and groom will have an attendant assisting them. Tying the obi, or belt, is particularly difficult. Accessories are an important component in the traditional attire. They include the proper hair style, traditional socks and shoes (a tabi, short, white toe socks and zori, thonglike clogs), " underwear " and the bride carries a small purse-style sack called hakoseko and a small encased sword called kaiken. She wears a fan in her obi belt because tradition compares the widening of the open fan to happiness and so it portends a happy future.
The undergarment is covered by a heavily embroidered, elaborate, richly patterned, silk brocade uchikake, or overkimono in red, white and gold. Cranes, scenes of flowers, flower carts, nature motifs and other traditional symbols of luck, health and long life are embroidered onto the fabric with gold thread. The uchikake kimono originated in the Edo era and was mainly worn only by court nobles. The bride will wear this kimono only once, because, in Japan, they reserved to be worn only by young, unmarried women. Red is the most popular uchikake kimono color, but they are also available in other colors.
The bride's hair is coifed in traditional Japanese style called bunkintakashimada and is adorned with beautiful kanzashi ornaments, combs and accessories. Her wig is covered with a white hood-like veil of cloth called a tsunokakushi, meaning demon horns. It is draped over her face. According to Japanese tradition, the veil is there to hide her demon horns. The horns are a sign of jealousy and, tradition states, that by covering them, she acknowledges her submission to her mother-in-law.
A white wedding hood called a literally meaning "to hide horns" is worn during the ceremony indicating that she will carry out her role as a wife with patience and serenity.
The bride's face is covered with white powder (declaring her maiden status to the gods), her eyes are outlined in a dark color and her lips are painted bright red.
The traditional Japanese wedding wear for the groom consists of an outer garment (Hakama) worn over a full-length kimono, split between the legs like pants. Hakama pants originally were an outer garment designed to protect the legs of samurai warriors from brush when they were riding a horse. The hakama today is worn as formal attire for wedding ceremonies, for dances, martial arts and by artists. The pants are made of cotton, rayon, or polyester-blend. The traditional color of the hakama is black, gray or brown with a white pinstripe. Today pants are available in many colors to suit the bride and groom ' s taste.
Ceremony-Service
In a traditional wedding, a Shinto priest conducts the ceremony which is attended only by immediate family. The traditional Japanese musical accompaniment consists of flutes and is performed by artists called "ga ga ku". The marriage of two people in traditional Japanese culture is not the union between a man and a woman, but the blending of two families. This is particularly evident when the bride and groom exchange vows. The two families face each other, while the bride and groom do not. Instead, the bride and groom stand between the families and face forward, while they make an oath to keep faithful and obedient to one another. A Shinto Japanese wedding may also take place at home in a temporary sanctuary on the "Tokonoma" (alcove) of the home. In addition to regional differences, in a home ceremony, the bride is seated first and a ceremony to " give her away " to the bridegroom is included. Some contemporary couples set up a shrine inside the hotel where the reception will be held.
The bride and groom are attended to by Miko maidens, serving sake in red and white dresses. An older couple, called Nakoudo, is responsible for managing the wedding. They are seated by the couple. The bridal couple, dressed in traditional kimonos, is purified, drinks sake, and the groom reads the words of commitment. The priest reads the wedding contract. Rice wine, called nihonshu or sake is the general Japanese terms for alcohol, which is made of rice and water and is about 20 percent alcohol. The sake, which is also served to the guests, is poured into three special cups of different sizes. The ceremony is called "SanSanKudo," which means three sets of three sips equals nine. It dates back to the 8th century and is one of Japan ' s oldest traditions. Using the smallest of the cups, the groom takes three sips. Then the bride does likewise. They do the same with the medium and large cups. At the end of the sake ceremony, both families drink a cup of sake, which represents the union of the bride and groom and unification of the two families. Drinking the wine is a sign that the marriage vows are sealed. An exchange of wedding rings is a modern practice that is popular today. At the close of the ceremony, symbolic offerings are given to the kami, this offering consists of three small twigs of Sakaki, a sacred tree. This ritual ends the ceremony. Today, many traditional Japanese ceremonies are followed by a western-style reception, but many still include tradition Japanese customs.
Guests
Women who attend a traditional Japanese wedding wear kimonos. Young women may wear colorful kimonos with long flowing furisode, or butterfly sleeves. Married women, to distinguish their marital status, will wear a more subdued homongi kimono. Men traditionally wear western-style suits.
Reception
After the ceremony, the couple welcomes the guests at a reception, called a "Kekkon Hiroen." As few as 20 and as many as 200 or more guests may attend, which will include family, friends and business associates. The party begins with the go-betweens with an introduction of the bridegroom, bride and their families' backgrounds. In keeping with the concept that a marriage is about the joining of families, there is more emphasis in the introduction placed on the family than on the couple.
The attire worn by the bride at the reception is the most colorful aspect of the party. She wears Kanzashi, colorful ornaments, in her hair. The Uchikike gown is worn over the kimono is resplendent with ornamentation and embroidery. When she changes yet again, the bride will don another kimono, different in style from the first. Kimonos because of their intrinsic value and sentimental value are often handed down from generation to generation. When they are no longer wearable, they may be used as futon (bedding) material to keep them in the family.
Guests are seated according to their relationship with the couple. The names of guests and their table assignments are on a reception table at which guests are asked to sign the guest book. Here too, the welcome party collects the monetary gifts.
The full-course meal is served table-side. The festivities during the reception include participation by guests who contribute speeches and songs. Guests are invited to participate in games, skits and karaoke. As for the decor, red and white are considered to be an auspicious combination and so are abundantly used in a Japanese wedding. The colors will be reflected in the bride ' s kimono and even the soup and ice cream may have ingredients in those colors.
It is traditional to distribute wedding mementoes called Hikidemono, which traditionally include dried bonito or sugar, that signifies happiness in Japan. Other gifts may include beautifully wrapped traditional Japanese candies, to more " valuable " gifts like silverware, a clock, or sake to modern novelty items. Recently, the western rituals of cutting the cake, lighting candles, tossing the bouquet and honeymoons have also been incorporated. At the very end of the party, the couple will speech to all the guests and thank everybody.
Gifts
Traditionally the bridal couple receives two gifts from each guest. Friends and relatives will send a wedding gift to the couple before or after, but never on, the wedding day. It is considered their personal gift to the new couple. Guests attending a traditional wedding reception in Japan are also expected to bring cash for a gift. The amount depends on their degree of closeness to the couple and the family. In traditional Japanese invitations, that relationship will be indicated on the invitation card. The average cash gift is 30,000 yen ($250) for a close friend's wedding, but gifts can run from $30 to $200. The money is placed into a special envelope, or Shugibukuro, and the guest ' s name is written on the front of the envelope. Envelopes, called iwaibukuro, can be purchased at Japanese supermarkets or grocery shops. The envelope is given to the greeter at the reception desk and is earmarked to help the new couple pay for wedding and reception costs. In recent years, bridal registries have become more commonplace in Japan, so guests may purchase merchandise from the bride and groom ' s registry list.
At the end of the evening, the couple thanks all the guest for attending.
Cost
The average Japanese reception in Japan can run to several million yen ($20,000-$30,000), to as high as $100,000. The number of guest ranges from 50 to 200 people, on average. The scale of reception has begun to decline in Japan and couples are beginning to favor more simple weddings.
Today, only a third of couples in Japan marry in traditional Shinto style. Most blend the rituals of a Japanese wedding with modern Western culture. By melding the two, couples create a wedding that takes the best of both and creates their own unique day. That melding is also practiced successfully by couples in this country.