Every caring bride will want her mother and future mother-in-law to be comfortable with the their wedding attire. She will want to give them as much flexibility as possible, while remaining within the general etiquette guidelines for wedding attire.

Traditionally, the mother of the bride is given the option of choosing her dress first. The dresses that the mothers select should complement one another and be in sync with the attire of the bridal party. Specifically, the mothers should both wear the same length dress, long or short depending on the bridesmaids' gowns. The color of the mothers' dresses should work well with those of the attendants, ensuring that in photos of them all together, the colors will not clash. Neither the bridesmaids, nor the mother-of-the-bride should wear a gown longer than the bride's.

Mothers of the bride and groom should avoid wearing black, unless it is the color the bride chooses for her bridesmaids. Attendants wearing black was unheard of until recently. Today it is quite popular. White, which traditionally a real no-no, is also acceptable today. What's most important is the that style and the colors work well with one another and are in line with the style of the wedding. Colors should also, of course, be matched to corsages and/or bouquets.

As a general guideline, at a formal wedding, the mothers should be in floor or tea-length dresses. At a semi-formal or informal weddings, more flexibility is possible. Floor length is not "required," but whatever they choose, they need to complement one another.

Ideally, the bride should accompany first her mother and then her mother-in-law-to-be when each selects her gown. The shopping trip can be a way she in which she can build her relationship with the groom's mom, while at once being present to steer things in the direction she prefers.