Once upon a time and still today in traditional circles, when a woman married, she took her husband's last name as her own, no questions asked. Then came the "modern" woman who "kept" her last name because it was how she had established herself in business. Today, couples have come up with what are two unique solutions to the ever-recurring name game. In much the same way as couples combine their furnishings, belongings, and resources, they have invented an egalitarian way to combine their last names. Instead of hyphenation, now a common, but sometimes cumbersome practice, the couple melds their surnames to create a new last name that they both use. Roberts and Goldman become Robman, or Golderts. A second solution is reverse hyphenation. Her name (Joan Roberts) and his name (Jim Goldman) become Joan Roberts-Goodman and Jim Goldman-Roberts, a little twist on an "old" concept.

The melding of surnames, as you can see, works best with names of two syllables or more and becomes a bit more difficult with single syllable names. Couples who are concerned about keeping the ethnicity of their names may choose to meld the ethnic parts of the names and still feel that neither is making a sacrifice by giving up their name.

Couples who choose name-melding need to be especially mindful as to the appropriate procedures to follow, where they live, in order to make their new name legal. In some locals, the mere declaration of a new name on a marriage license application makes the name legal automatically when the license is issued. In other places, the processes and fees vary county to county and in some places couples must file a petition, along with a notarized affidavit.

Name melding is a particularly good alternative for gay unions, where there aren't established traditions from which the couple may choose. It also offers a viable and acceptable for couples both of whom feel strongly about their own surnames and equally strongly about establishing them as a couple.

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