The wedding speech, often a lead into the wedding toast, is a lovely way to add personal
touches to the wedding reception.
By following some guidelines for preparation and a few rules of proper etiquette, the wedding speech can go from an awkward obligation to a delightful honor.
The best time to deliver wedding speeches:
Speeches can be given at any time during the reception, but tend to come across best before
the food is served, but after people have had some time to mingle and drink.
The process begins . . .
- Short welcoming remarks by the master of ceremonies
- MC introduces either a close friend of the family or of the couple (and can also introduce subsequent speakers and toast-makers).
- That person delivers a speech that leads up to the wedding toast to the bride and groom.
- The toast is followed by a speech in the form of a reply by the groom, the bride, or both.
- The reply consists of "thank you's" to everyone who has helped with the wedding and traditionally ends with a toast to the bridesmaids.
- The bridesmaids then have toasts made on their behalf by the best man who then also offers a short speech and/or a toast to the wedding hosts (e.g., the bride's mother or father or both).
- The hosts reply to the best man's speech/toast.
- This is the traditional sequence of events, but it can be varied, so long as it meets the primary objective of involving those people who mean the most to the bride and groom and their families!
Preparing to give a wedding speech
- Write what you feel. Use personal memories and details, keeping mindful not to embarrass anyone or get too intimate.
- Make reference to particular people, but identify them, so the speech will be more meaningful to all the guests.
- Quotations, poems and humor are fine, even if not your own, but short is always sweet!
- Write the speech as soon as you can, giving yourself rewrite and practice time.
- Tape or videotape the speech to hear how it sounds and bounce it off a friend or two.
- Be sincere. Nothing falls flatter than sentiments that are not meant.
- Make sure you sound like your talking not reading.
- Sufficiently familiarize yourself with the speech so you can deliver it from memory, or
(second choice) from note cards. The more you prepare, the more confident you'll be.
How best to keep from being nervous
- Keep the event in perspective. This is not a test or an essay exam.
- Bear in mind that the more you practice, the more comfortable you'll be.
- Remember your audience. They're out for a good time, at a happy event, not looking to be judgmental or critical.
- Relax and remember how much fun it is to tell a story to a captive audience.
- Bear in mind that the waiting is the tough part and that once you get started things get easier.
- Don't use alcohol to make yourself less nervous. The likelihood is that it will just put you off-center and make you even more uncomfortable.
- When delivering your speech, focus on friendly faces in the room and speak, if you will, to people you know.
Wedding speeches are meant to bring back pleasant memories of the past and create new
memories for the future. When approached and delivered in the right spirit, they can do
just that, and more.
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