Fall 2012 into 2013 Wedding Dresses Fashion Trends

The new wedding dresses trends appear on the New York runways. In mid-October, during New York's Bridal Week. These predictions are those of. Parisian born Severine Ferrari, editor- in-chief of Wedding Dresses and Engagement.

1-Lace Wedding Dresses
Lace has made a huge come back through celebrity weddings and is bound to be everywhere on the runway. This timeless trimming can be used for discreet details, or more lavishly all over the dress.
2- Wedding Dresses with Sleeves
Short, 3-quarter or even puffy sleeves will dominate. Brides who prefer strapless will opt for a bolero jacket that they can remove for the reception. The sleeves of the bolero can be solid (satin or organza), or transparent (illusion net, chiffon or lace).

3- Wedding Dresses with Dots and Prints
Sometimes inspired by ready-to- wear, we may see some alternative dress options with stripes, polka dots, painted silks, or prints.

4- Halter Wedding Dresses with High-Necks
Again, either part of the dress or the jacket, we are about to see wedding dresses with lavalieres, Claudine collars and Queen Anne necklines. Halter wedding dresses can echo this trend while still being a modern look.

5-Fantasy Wedding Dresses
Princess like statement ball gowns are going to be hot. The fantasy could go even further by incorporating a more costume feel in order to personalize the dress. Period, old fairy tales, iconic movies are examples that will allow the bride to tell her unique story and express her unique style.

6-Wedding Dresses Covered with Sequins
Sparkle mini and sheath dresses will light the runway.

Ferrari advises the bride to make her decision not exclusively on what is "in style,", or y what celebrities are wearing. What's important, she adds is that each bride selects a gown that suits her body type, weight, and personal preferences. She points out that the bride also needs to look into any restrictions that may be placed on her by the venue in which her ceremony will be held, as well as any family tradition to which she will need to adhere

Never Too Old To Fall In Love
September 20, 2011 - Whitney Clark KTVL News - KTVL.com

CENTRAL POINT, Ore. -- The wedding at the Twin Creeks retirement community in Central Point on Tuesday afternoon only took a week to plan. It was a quick ceremony, but the couple's love story took a lifetime to begin. "I'm 92," said bride Joan Williams. "And I'm 89," said groom Robert Lafoya. "I'm a cougar," Williams said, laughing. Williams and Lafoya met five years ago at another retirement community in Medford. Immediately they said they hit it off. They both enjoyed the same activities, like Bingo.

"I use to see her when we were eating and I use to say - that's a beautiful looking woman," Lafoya said. They decided to get married because they felt like they needed each other. "It was just decided between ourselves that we need each other," Lafoya said. "To take care of each other." Originally they planned on tying the knot at city hall. But the people who live and work in their community wanted to do something special for the couple.

Flo Bohnert, a Twin Creeks resident, officiated the ceremony. She said their story was inspiring because it shows that you can find love and be happy at any age. The flower girl, best man, and maid of honor were all either employees or neighbors from Twin Creeks. As they were setting up the tables and the cake, the couple was getting ready in their apartment.

Williams said she was nervous but was no bridezilla. It only took her 20 minutes to get ready and her pink wedding dress was on loan from a friend. Although Lafoya had worn his suit to his previous weddings, he said this time will be the last. "This is the best day of my life," he said. "She probably saved me. And I feel that I need her." "I needed him," Williams said.

The newlyweds walked down the aisle as dozens of friends watched and clapped. The two say they found their soul mates and that they will be together until death do them part.

Bridesmaid attends wedding via iPad

bit of a pain, but here's an idea: stream yourself on an iPad and go along virtually!
Renne Armstrong was utterly disappointed (likely story...) that she couldn't attend her best friend's wedding as a bridesmaid. However, thanks to technology, she was able to see and even attend the wedding, via an iPad.

A groomsman carried the iPad, with Renne in virtual tow, down the aisle and continued to hold it by his side while standing at the altar. Not only was Renne able to be a part of the ceremony, she also attended the reception, chatted to the guests and even 'stood' to take pictures with the bride.

Technology helped to make Jamie Wilborn's special day just that little bit more special and she proudly held the tablet, and her friend, while thanking the device for reuniting the two for the big day. They used Apple's FaceTime application to screen the event, as Renne was over 1,600 miles away in Denver.

The virtual reunion idea almost never happened as disaster struck hours before the ceremony. One of the groomsmen, clearly acting the maggot, dropped the tablet and shattered its screen. After some quick calls to the media, the word spread and Apple themselves replaced the damaged device before the ceremony took place.

But we suspect the clever folk involved might have just been after a 'free' wedding present.

Fall 2012 Wedding Dresses Fashion Forecast
From Severine Ferrari for Bridal Fashion Week

Ready-to-wear New York Fashion week has started, but come mid-October, it is New York Bridal Week that is taking over. New wedding dresses will be presented to the press to be sold in bridal salons in 2012. Parisian born Severine Ferrari, editor- in-chief of Wedding Dresses and Engagement 101 magazines, has just released her predictions for the 6 new trends about to hit the bridal runway. 2012 and 2013 brides and celebrities should consider wearing these romantic or fashion forward new trends.

1- Lace Wedding Dresses
Lace has made a huge come back through celebrity weddings and is bound to be everywhere on the runway. This timeless trimming can be used for discreet details, like on Kim Kardashian's strapless wedding dress, or more lavishly all over like on Kate Middleton's wedding dress.

2- Wedding Dresses with Sleeves
Short, 3-quarter or even puffy sleeves will be everywhere. Brides who still want to go strapless will have the option of picking a bolero jacket that they can remove for the reception. The sleeves fabric will be solid (satin or organza) or transparent (illusion net, chiffon or lace).

3- Wedding Dresses with Dots and Prints
Wedding Dresses are sometimes inspired by ready-to- wear and though we might see some stripes, polka dots, and painted silks or prints will offer some alternative wedding dresses options.

4- Halter Wedding Dresses with High-Necks
Again, either part of the dress or the jacket, we are about to see wedding dresses with lavalieres, Claudine collars and Queen Anne necklines.


5-Fantasy Wedding Dresses
Princess like statement ball gowns are going to be hot. But the fantasy could go even further and include a more costume feel to personalize the wedding. I am thinking period, old fairy tales, iconic movies … Wedding Dresses are going to tell us the bride's story. Check out the recently married Lauren Bush Lauren's wedding attire.

6-Wedding Dresses Covered with Sequins
Sparkle mini and sheath dresses will light the runway.

Wedding Dresses Magazine is a 20 year bridal magazine published at WeddingDresses.com. Engagement 101 Magazine, the magazine for couples about to get engaged, is distributed on newsstands in the US and Canada. Both editorial teams will cover New York Bridal market live on WeddingDresses.com and YourEngagement101.com

Guests Gripe about Destination Weddings
By A. Pawlowski, CNN April 30, 2010

Guests Gripe about Destination Weddings (CNN) -- The Loire Valley in France is one of those perfect spots for couples to say "I do," so Stephanie Hare saved for months for a wedding -- but it wasn't her own. Her best friend from high school chose the lovely wine region to get married last spring, and when the invitation arrived, Hare reluctantly began the calculations. She figured it would cost her $1,500 for the flight to Europe and a room at the chateau where the wedding party was staying.

"At first, I was not going to go, which made me sad," said Hare, 27, of Atlanta, Georgia. "Just looking at all the expenses, I couldn't do it." But after talking to her parents and the bride -- who made her feel a little guilty, Hare said -- she decided to skip going out with friends and eating at restaurants for a frustrating few months to save up the money.

It's a dilemma many people on guest lists are facing as more couples fall in love with the idea of a destination wedding, which requires most (if not all) involved to pack up and head to a beautiful locale for the ceremony. Twenty percent of couples now hold destination weddings, according to TheKnot.com & WeddingChannel.com 2009 Destination Weddings Study. Some do it to keep the guest list down, but for many, it's simply a matter of juggling the geography, said Rebecca Dolgin, executive editor of TheKnot.com.

In a lot of weddings, the bride is from one place, the groom is from across the country or someplace completely different, and what they do is, they get married in a neutral territory," Dolgin said. Sometimes, that territory can create some unique headaches. Steve Tozin and his fiancée were planning a wedding in Cancun, Mexico, last year when regional instability got in the way. He's from New York, she's from Chicago, and they loved the idea of getting married at a lovely resort. Their guests were enthusiastic, but then a wave of drug-related violence struck Mexico, prompting some grisly headlines.

"Friends and family would read these articles, and they would flip out," Tozin, 33, recalled. "They would say, 'My God, you're really getting married down there?' even though it was nowhere near Cancun." So a few months before the wedding, the couple switched locations to Florida and got married on Amelia Island instead.

Worries about faraway places are just some of the gripes that wedding planner Nancy Barkley hears from the friends and families of couples who choose exotic locales for their vows. Barkley, the owner of Honeymoons and Get-A-Ways in suburban Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, said she feels "like a priest" sometimes as guests secretly vent to her about having to attend a destination wedding. "[Some say] 'I can't believe they chose that hotel. It's so expensive. What are they thinking?' " Barkley said. "Some people just don't travel ... [and] sometimes I just really think it's the fear of the unknown. You're doing a wedding in Costa Rica, and you might be inviting an aunt who lives somewhere in the Midwest and who has never been on a plane before."

Another common, potentially touchy situation comes when the parents of the bride or groom are divorced and are essentially forced to spend a vacation together when they attend a destination wedding, Barkley said. If one brings a significant other, things can get even more awkward. For most guests, though, the biggest dilemma usually comes down to time and money.

Rebecca Seitz never expected to miss this weekend's wedding of her college roommate, a friend who served as a bridesmaid at her nuptials. But the ceremony is taking place in the Netherlands, and Seitz and her husband live in Baltimore, Maryland, so they would have had to shell out $800 each for airfare alone and be able to stay just a few days. "It's not really worth it to spend almost $2,000 for tickets when I'd rather wait and go to Europe or any destination for a longer period of time," Seitz, 28, said. "If she were getting married here, I would go without hesitation. It was kind of sad to get the invitation."

'Wedding Can Couple' Hit 400,000 Can Recycling Goal
USAToday.com June 30, 2010

Andrea Parrish and Peter Geyer recycled aluminum cans to fund their wedding. Andrea Parrish and Peter Geyer -- aka the "Wedding Can Couple" -- say they've reached their goal of recycling 400,000 aluminum cans to pay for their July 31 nuptials.

Andrea Parrish and fiancee Peter Geyer collected and recycled 400,000 aluminum cans to pay for their $3,800 July wedding. Tyson HabeinParrish, who grows organic vegetables in her front yard in Spokane, Wash., told Green House in January that she figured recycling cans would be an eco-friendly way to fund their $3,800 DIY wedding. She set up a website and word spread quickly. The couple say it took 197 days to reach their goal, collecting on average one can about every 40 seconds. Alcoa Aluminum helped by donating 150,000 cans. "The most exciting thing about the project is how many people have borrowed the idea," Geyer says. "We have other engaged couples recycling for their weddings and honeymoons -- even a woman collecting cans to pay for her liver transplant." He and Parrish say they plan to continue collecting and recycling aluminum cans, donating 60% of the proceeds to the non-profits Rim Country Land Institute and Doctors Without Borders. Parrish says it will be their "wedding gift to the earth."

A Grand Central Romance
The Week, January 14,2011

A decade ago Kristy and Thomas Trumbley had longed to be married inside New York City's majestic Grand Central Terminal, but the couple couldn't afford the $10,000 required to reserve a date. On their 10th anniversary last week, Thomas surprised Kristy with a ceremony on a balcony overlooking the terminal concourse, where the couple renewed their vows. "It's bliss;" Kristy said. "It's New York. It's an icon. It's beautiful." Her slightly less romantic husband told her: "This is your Christmas present, your anniversary present, and your birthday present. I am covered for the next 20 years."

Sports Themed Weddings And/Or Receptions
WXX12.com, by Melissa Pena

Some couples enjoy sports together or have one team that they are fanatics about and would love to have their wedding at a sporting event. Will they can these days. Several event centers, arenas and fields are open for wedding ceremonies and reception areas.
The sports centers even have management and caterers to help with the couples plans. They can help or your wedding planner can get with them and make arrangements for a wedding and/or reception to be held on the field.
From baseballs to basketballs and hoops your wedding reception can be decorated to the nine's.
Even sports museums and colleges allow weddings. So it's all up to you to decide what venue you want to go with and roll.
Your wedding could be traditional and then have wedding photos taken and your reception in a sporting venue. It is all up to the couple and what route they want to go but think sporty and flashy. The wedding cake can be traditional and the groom's cake can be a soccer ball. Anything goes with a sports wedding and/or reception. Check with local sporting outfits to check with times and prices.
So "Take Me Out To The Ballgame!" could be sung at your reception. Maybe you want to have a reception close to the ice at a hockey event? Go Hurricanes!
The bridal shower could be Sports Themed, especially if you are going co-ed. Maybe the guys just want a sporting outing as their bachelor party(a golfing package) or a mixed group outing with the whole wedding party.

"Toilet Paper Wedding Dress Contest"
FoxAtlanta.com March 4, 2011
While much of the world will be focused on the royal wedding pomp next month, some creative seamstresses will be heading in a completely different direction.
They will be contestants in the seventh annual Toilet Paper Wedding Dress Contest slated to begin in early April.
The contest, hosted by the bride-on-a-budget website Cheap Chic Weddings , seeks the best-looking bridal-wear made out of tape, glue and toilet paper, reported AOL News .

To make these unusual dresses, the contestants sew the toilet tissue together with a needle and thread.
"I've seen someone use only four rolls for their dress and another contestant use 40," Cheap Chic Weddings co-founder Susan Bain told AOL News. "It really varies depending on the design and thickness of the dress. Some people really pack the toilet paper on, and others prefer using less toilet paper and reinforcing the pieces with a lot of glue or tape. Everyone has a different strategy."

Last year's winner of the $1,000 Grand Prize was Galit Zeierman of Israel. The dress actually looked like it was made of traditional material - and she actually wore it in photos posted on Cheap Chic Wedding's website . Her dress even included a toilet paper bird on her shoulder and a toilet paper headpiece.
Despite the April start date for the entry filing, Bain said now is a good time for serious contestants to get moving on designing and planning their dresses.
Contestants must submit photos of front, side and back of their dress and a photo of the headpiece (a video is acceptable,as well.)
The dresses need to remain intact because the finalists will need to mail them to Cheap Chic Weddings (at the website's expense.) Go here for additional rules.
Bain, her mother and her sister will judge the contest, and the winner will be announced in early July. The first-place prize is $1,000, second and third place earn $500 and $250, respectively.

12 Wedding Dress Trends for 2011
San Francisco Chronicle Online (sfgate.com)
With the boom of summer weddings just around the corner, WeddingDresses.com is making sure soon-to-be brides are on top of the latest wedding dress trends.

Wedding Dresses Magazine "12 Wedding Dress Trends for 2011":
12. Light Fabrics
Light fabrics, such as tulle and organza, are making a huge splash this year. Some recent examples include Marchesa wedding dresses 2011 collection and Rivini wedding dresses 2011 collection.

11. Couture Wedding Dresses Sample Sales
Everyone today wants a couture wedding dress. Now, with the help of e-commerce, brides are able to buy their favorite high-fashion bridal looks at discounted prices through sample sales.

10. Alternative Wedding Dresses Styles
Brides are getting bored of the classic white wedding dress. This year began the trend of new quirky, alternative styles for brides. The new BHLDN bridal line, which makes gorgeous vintage and alternative styles, highlights what today's modern bride is moving toward.

9. Black and White Wedding Dresses
The looks of the black accented sash is another growing trend this year. Brides who are looking for a sophisticated look can chose this trend or create something similar to this Rivini wedding dress.

8. One-Shoulder Wedding Dresses >
While the strapless wedding dress has dominated the bridal scene for at least a decade, a new trend that has been growing in momentum is the one-shoulder look. With a touch of a Greek goddess influence, these gowns are both chic and sophisticated.

7. All Over Sparkle
From Swarovski crystals to real diamonds, brides in 2011 want to sparkle! Wedding dresses, like this one by Stephen Yearick, show that brides are looking for wedding dresses that look more like party gowns.

6. 3D, Big Flowers
The floral trend continues into 2011. But it's no longer about floral accents or embellishments; this year it's all about exaggerated floral details that look like they're in full bloom.

5. Cap Sleeves
Another jab to the strapless wedding dress trend is the return of sleeves; cap sleeves, that is. Based on recent runway shows, designers such as Angel Rivera and Monique Lhuillier wedding dresses are bringing the look back.

4. V-Necks
V-Neck wedding dresses are also growing in momentum. Brides are learning that the neckline is flattering on small-chested women, adds support for large-chested women and elongates the neck.

3. All Over Lace
Your mother might have been decked in lace for her wedding dress, but now the trend is making a powerful surge back. Celebrity brides such as Ivanka Trump and Nicole Richie both chose lacy looks for their wedding day.

2. Convertible Wedding Dresses
The rise of mini wedding dresses has persuaded many brides to purchase two wedding dresses, one for the ceremony (the traditional dress) and one for the reception (the mini dress). A more affordable option is a single wedding dress that can be dressed up or dressed down. For example, recent celebrity bride Kellie Pickler wore a classic Badgley Mischka wedding gown with a removable ball gown skirt.

1. Big Ballroom Skirts
With two royal weddings around the corner, brides want to look as pretty as a princess by wearing big ball gown wedding dresses. Statement wedding dresses from Lazaro, Ines DiSanto and Augusta Jones dominated the runway this year and are sure to be this year's biggest wedding dress trend.

NewsFeed.Time.com
Miami Parking Lot Doubles as Wedding Venue
By: Kayla Webley

Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today — in this parking lot? — to join this man and woman in holy matrimony. When the traditional wedding venues — churches, beaches, art galleries, hotel ballrooms — let you down, the next best option isn't usually a parking lot. But in Miami there is a parking garage so "beautiful" that people have asked to host wine tastings, dinner parties, yoga classes, and yes, even weddings in the space. The garage, called 1111 Lincoln Road, is a product of the vision of property owner, Robert Wennett, a developer and contemporary art collector, and the architects he hired, Herzog & de Meuron, the Swiss firm that designed both the Tate Modern and Beijing's Olympic Stadium, called the Bird's Nest.

The $65 million building features 360-degree views, floor heights of up to 34-feet, an internal staircase, artwork and a glass cube that houses a designer clothing store. The cherry on top? Wennett's private home, a large penthouse apartment on the roof of the complex.

After 45 years, wedding photos found at scrap yard
today.msnbc.msn.com

It's a fairy-tale ending 45 years in the making. But Paul and Marion Caruso, of Tunkhannock, Pa., say it's been worth every minute of waiting for the day they'd finally have their wedding photos — photos that were miraculously pulled from a scrap yard in Scranton.

Paul Caruso was working at a skating rink back in the early '60s when he met Marion, the person who would become his wife soon after they graduated high school. When the teenage lovers got married in 1965, they had wedding photos taken, but didn't have the money to buy any copies for themselves.

"It was tough, but we just had to forgo it," Paul explained. "It was something that you'd love to have, but we just couldn't afford it. So we moved on and forgot about it."

Marion noted, "Eventually I thought we'd get them, but then the kids came along, you know, two years later, and it was like their pictures were more important than ours were."

So Paul and Marion put the pictures on the back burner — out of sight, out of mind — for decades. But by chance, over the years, the wedding photographer — who also ran a scrap yard — became a business associate of Paul's, and occasionally offered to let him look through old negatives to find the photos.

It was an offer Paul declined, until the photographer passed away earlier this year. Thousands of negatives were stored at the scrap yard in 55-gallon tanks. At the photographer's son's urging, the Carusos decided to dig in and see if they could find theirs.

"Little did we know there was no names on them, there was no dates, just some kind of a code number on them," Paul said. They spent hours holding up the negatives, with just a glimmer of hope that they would find their needle in a haystack. After a few hours, Paul took a break, and it was Marion who made the big discovery. She recalled, "I was screaming, and I looked at it, and my heart just, I started to cry." Another local photographer was able to restore the photos, and the rest, as they say, is history. "All of a sudden they came out of nowhere," Paul said. "I just feel very honored to have them." Marion added, "It makes me think about all the courage we had to take that step. And that if you really love each other, and you give more than 50 percent, you give 150 percent to each other, that it can work." Marion said she spotted their negative thanks to the couple's 1960s styles — with her "Mary Tyler Moore flip" and Paul's "slicked-back wannabe Elvis" hairstyle.

The Top Five Celebrity Weddings of 2010
By Celebuzz

Love was certainly in the air for Hollywood this year, and while there were surely a huge rash of splits, there was also a treasure trove of celebrity weddings to offset nature's balance.

Who made the list of the most glamorous, A-list weddings this year? Certainly the recent nuptials between Nicole Richie and Joel Madden, but who else?

Read on to reminisce about the loving couples of 2010.
1. Nicole Richie wed Good Charlotte singer Joel Madden on December 11 at her father Lionel Richie's home in Los Angeles. They have been a couple for four years and have two children.

2. Orlando Bloom and model Miranda Kerr married this July after being engaged for only one month. In August, Kerr announced that she was four months pregnant with their first child.

3. Hilary Duff and Canadian hockey player Mike Comrie wed in mid-August at a small ceremony in Santa Barbara, California under an arch of flowers. Duff later told Ellen Degeneres that her special day was almost derailed when one of her teeth fell out three hours before the start time. Thankfully, her wedding planner knew a good dentist.

4. True Blood co-stars Anna Paquin and Stephen Moyer married each other in August at a villa in Malibu after a year-long engagement. Guests included some of the True Blood cast as well as show creator Alan Ball.

5. Lala Vasquez and Denver Nuggets MVP Carmelo Anthony married at Cipriani's in New York on July 10. The ceremony was perhaps the most star-studded of any wedding this year, with Kim Kardashian, Justin Timberlake, Serena Williams, Spike Lee and LeBron James all present, among many other celebrities.

Many bridal couples struggle with the idea of whether to invite children to their wedding reception. A marriage ceremony is all about the gathering of family and friends, and having children there will only add to the special meaning of the day. But, having children at a wedding can create extra stress that you don't need. Chicago Wedding planner Juanita Nelson, created KidSpecial-Teas a way to keep the children entertained while the bridal couple and the guests are able to enjoy the day and maintain an elegant environment for the reception. KidSpecial-Teas provides everything by planning, preparing, and executing the entertainment for the children attending the wedding.

They work very closely with the Bride and/or her Wedding Planner or Coordinator to ensure a successful Wedding day. In addition, we provide services for engagement parties, rehearsals, rehearsal dinners, showers, brunches and more. The children are able to enjoy the day by participating in activities such as crafts, storytelling, games, free-play, a healthy snack and supervised refreshments. Nelson also can arrange themed tea parties, where the children can play dress up, learn basic table manners, and enjoy our children's herbal tea, or frozen hot chocolate. KidSpecial-teas provide vellum inserts to be mailed with the invitations to guests with children, along with an informational flyer, contract and deposit requirements. Fees can be paid by the Bride/Groom, the Bridal party, or prepaid by each Guest.

Kid Special-Teas allows the parents to enjoy the event while being assured that their children are in the hands of caring and responsible professionals.

Unique Fast Food Wedding Venues: McDonalds Says 'I Do'
Inventorspot.com by Beth Hodgson

Deciding on a wedding venue is a personal choice. Some prefer the tradition of a church or the whimsy of a beach. Others like to host their ceremony or reception while taking a walk on the wild side while deep sea diving or bungee jumping. Unique wedding venue trends have caused all different sorts of businesses to offer wedding related services, and the latest may surprise you!

One McDonalds location in Hong Kong claims to have received so many inquiries about wedding hosting that they have decided to begin offering their location as a venue. They will 'cater' the event, and can accommodate weddings of various sizes. There is, however, one major catch; they won't be closing the restaurant to the public when a wedding is taking place. That means alcohol will not be served, and as the bride and groom say 'I do', there could be a few strange children running rampant ready to spill their orange crush right down the front of the bride's white dress.

Hey, it wouldn't be my choice, but if there's a demand for it, I guess Mcweddings are in!

The Charitable Wedding: 'I Give' Instead of Just 'I do'
CNN.com by By Stephanie Chen

(CNN) -- The collection of wedding favors stuffed into Sarah Dixon's closet includes everything from customized peppermints to a cup holder shaped like a flip-flop. When her shining bridal moment arrived in October 2009, Dixon, 26, abandoned the cheesy wedding trinkets for a nobler cause.

She gave each guest a small bag of chocolate truffles to mark a cash donation in guests' honor to the Wounded Warriors Project (http://www.woundedwarriorproject.org), a nonprofit support group for injured veterans. Dixon's husband, Todd Rump, 26, was deployed to Iraq for an eight-month stint three years ago. "I figured it would be something for our guests to enjoy," said Dixon, whose husband will leave this week for duty with the Army in Afghanistan. "I kind of always knew I wanted to do something charitable. When it comes to favors, it's hard to choose something that won't just sit in someone's house or get thrown away." A growing number of couples are shifting the spotlight from their weddings to socially conscious causes, wedding planners and industry experts said. Donations in lieu of wedding favors are gaining popularity. More people are setting up charitable registries via the internet. After all, one Montana bride rationalized, what is the use of a wedding favor during hard economic times? "It's so easy to do," said Anja Winikka, senior editor at TheKnot.com .... "You have so much attention, all the love of your friends and these gifts flowing in. It inspires some couples to give something back with all eyes on them."

There are no hard rules set for donating to charities for weddings, but some wedding etiquette experts recommend couples avoid putting donation requests on the invitation. Usually, wedding websites or social media can efficiently and appropriately advocate a specific cause. Introducing the organization on a wedding program can also spread the word, they said. Weddings may be an ideal place to gather attention for a charity. There were about 2.2 million weddings in 2009, with each event averaging 128 guests, according to The Wedding Report Inc., a research company tracking the wedding industry. Charitable donations at weddings come in all forms.

One New Jersey bride this month gave tree seeds to guests to promote environmental sustainability. A wedding next month in Minnesota will ask attendees to bring a nonperishable canned or boxed food item for the local food bank. A Louisiana couple married in March raised $850 to help rebuild homes destroyed by Hurricane Katrina in New Orleans' Lower 9th Ward. "Beyond all the humanitarian reasons, the need to rebuild the houses, our desire just to do good, there's real benefits for us in the long run," said the groom, Max Erenberg, 35, who lives near the Lower 9th Ward. "It certainly helps us having those neighborhoods back." Quantifying the uptick in couples trying to donate during their weddings is difficult because there are few experts tracking the phenomenon. According to TheKnot.com, 4 percent of couples in 2009 had a registry connected to a charity, but the figure doesn't include guests who donate without a registry or couples who replace wedding favors with donations.

In the last few years, more organizations have emerged to cater to engaged couples wanting to donate. More than 650,000 couples since 2004 have participated in charity programs on WeddingChannel.com. The I Do Foundation (http://www.idofoundation.org, a nonprofit group that helps engaged couples set up charitable registries, reports that about 60,000 couples have established registries through its site. When the foundation began in 2002, couples could select from a dozen charities, said Grant La Rouche, director of the foundation. Today, the agency offers more than 1.5 million nonprofit groups to choose from. Couples can also shop from selected vendors, with a portion of their spending going to a charity. The donations also are tax deductible."They want to share that it's a part of who they are and so much of weddings are about making it about what you love," La Rouche said.

Nonprofits are also starting to establish their own wedding gift giving programs. Heifer International, an Arkansas-based group known for donating farm animals to impoverished communities worldwide, started an alternative gift giving registry five years ago and has received thousands of donations, officials said.

Children's Healthcare of Atlanta (http://www.choa.org), a hospital in Atlanta, Georgia, launched a wedding program in 2006 and sells posters and mini-place cards for couples to give to their guests when they donate, said Katie Hammett, foundation program coordinator. But Hammett said some brides still prefer a more traditional registry or favors. "It really depends on the bride -- some brides are really into the idea, and some brides really want to go a different way," Hammett said.

The demand for charitable weddings enabled Mary Ludwig of New Hampshire to start a niche business three years ago called Truffles for a Cause. The company sells chocolates to couples, but a portion of the money goes to a charity the couple picks. The most popular charity has been the American Cancer Society, but Ludwig has had brides request donations go to organizations supporting families affected by the 9/11 attacks and local soup kitchens. "This generation and probably the next generation -- the kids are brought up being more socially aware," Ludwig said. "They are always thinking about what we can do to save the planet, or helping people when there are earthquakes."

While a generation of generous millennials may be one reason for the jump in charitable weddings, some wedding experts said they believe charitable giving also represents a larger cultural shift in marriage. More couples are cohabitating and marrying later. For example, in 2009, the average age for a bride was 28 and the average groom's age was 30, according to a survey of 21,000 couples conducted by TheKnot.com. In 2004, the bride was 27 and the groom was 29. "By the time they are getting married they don't need flatware, silverware and candlesticks," said wedding writer Ariel Meadow Stallings, who runs the blog OffbeatBride.com.

Modern brides are also in an unspoken competition to ensure their wedding is different from their peers, she said. Many believe choosing a charity with a personal story can make their gifts to guests more distinctive. Valerie Manglitz, 36, who married this past month in Michigan, decided to donate to a local agency that serves deaf people. She has worked as a sign language interpreter since she was 20 years old. She hopes her giving will create a ripple effect. "You want to lead by example," Manglitz said. "You have to show people what you're doing so hopefully they will join."

Divorce Insurance: Get Unhitched, Get a Payout
by Belinda Luscome, Time Magazine, September 19, 2010

Ever had that sinking feeling that the person your friend is marrying is perfectly awful? Of course not, because you love everyone. But should it happen, you now can give the perfect wedding present: divorce insurance.

WedLock, as it's coyly named, is a new type of casualty insurance that gives the unhappily married policyholder a payout after he or she is unhitched. It costs about $16 a month for every $1,250 of coverage. But to discourage people
from signing up just prior to their divorce, policyholders must ante up for four years before the policy will pay out. It adds a premium of $250 per unit for every year the marriage survives beyond four. So if a policyholder who bought 10 units got divorced after 10 years, he or she would have handed over $19,188 and would receive a payout of $27,500. It's probably not worth getting divorced for, but the lump sum might salve some wounds, whether through lawyers, vacations or subscriptions to the Rhapsody Book Club.

The idea bubbled up, as so many do, from the bottom of a financial pit. After John Logan watched his wealth follow his marriage down the drain, the Kernersville, N.C., entrepreneur figured there must be a market for those who want to hedge their marital bets. He won't reveal how many policies he's sold since the Aug. 5 launch of WedLockDivorceInsurance.com But he's surprised at how much insurance his customers are buying: some of the premiums are more than $1,000 a month.

Not everybody thinks divorce insurance is prudent. "The best insurance against a painful, financially devastating divorce is to find a way to be happy in your marriage," says relationship coach Mimi Daniel. "Divorce insurance implies from the beginning that divorce is already an option."

On the other hand, unless you're Elin Nordegren, few things are as impoverishing as ending a marriage. Logan, who is recently engaged and, yes, is buying policies for himself and his betrothed, expects WedLock will become part of prenuptial agreements or be purchased for a bride or groom by relatives concerned about their loved one's choice of loved one. "Mom or Dad could buy this for their son or daughter without them knowing about it," he suggests. But the bride or groom has to be the beneficiary. Sorry, scheming mother-in-law, no windfall for you.

Is chivalry dead? Technology twists the wedding proposal
By Liane Membis, CNN, July 28, 2010
In decades past, your grandfather may have taken granny to the park, got down on one knee and proposed to her, with a sparkling ring in hand. Nowadays, some suitors are reaching out to their brides-to-be through their computer, pushing a button and proposing: right through the internet. As technology continues to touch on almost every aspect of social life, there is no stopping this generation's use of the internet as a tool -- even for marriage. But with these nontraditional methods of courtship, can we help but wonder: Is chivalry dead?

Johannes S. Beals was surfing the net recently when he was inspired to propose marriage. The engagement ring for his long-time girlfriend had been hidden in his home for four months, and it was while chatting with other filmmakers that he figured out how he would propose to his wife. "I saw Alyssa Milano tweet about the Old Spice Guy's personalized video responses and that's when the idea popped in my head to ask him to propose to my wife," said Beals, a producer and director in California. He tweeted to Isaiah Mustafa, the shirtless shower man who plays the Old Spice Guy, "Can U Ask my girlfriend to marry me? Her name is Angela A. Hutt-Chamberlin." Three hours later the deal was done. The Old Spice Guy, wrapped in his towel, appears in a bathroom, dims the lights, rolls in candles, holds out a ring and reads the proposal in a deep, chivalrous voice. The video proposal went viral and Beals is now on his way to becoming a married man.

Beals' proposal is one example of the power the internet can have in personal lives, and raised the question about how technology impacts the tradition of the marriage proposal. Sarah Pease, owner of Brilliant Event Planning, said that as time passes, proposals are becoming more elaborate and that technology encourages more opportunities for lovers to express their creativity. However, she finds the idea of proposing online as a substitute for the traditional act of getting down on one knee a bit puzzling. "Any proposal where the girl says yes is a great proposal," Pease said. "But would I recommend proposing on Twitter or online to my clients? Never."

The current world of technology pressures people to do things bigger and better than they were done in the past, she said. Yet she believes that by using social media or the internet as a sole medium to propose devalues the wedding proposal and denies the man the true creative buzz that comes from planning a wedding proposal. "Proposing online may work for some people, but I think there are just so many other creative ways that you can pop the question and still embrace the tradition of getting down on one knee," Pease said. It is men's fear of rejection that pushes them to want to go public with their proposals online, said Michael Rosenfeld, an associate professor of sociology at Stanford University. Just like proposing on a JumboTron at a baseball game, proposing in public gives men control by creating a situation that pressures women into saying yes. "Proposing online or in any public space has something to do with power in the relationship," Rosenfeld said. "There might be fear if you ask them one-on-one because the woman might say no. Proposing in public helps to reduce that risk." What also makes proposing online more attractive is the economic benefit and feasibility. "The internet is a lot more accessible -- it's more difficult to get a billboard at a baseball game or to hire a jumbo jet," said Christina Warren, whose fiancé proposed to her on Twitter in January 2009. "Grand gestures can be made online at little to no cost, and depending on the people that are involved, the proposal becomes more meaningful," Warren said. The reporter for Mashable.com and her computer programmer fiancé are self-proclaimed computer nerds whose obsessions with all things tech made their online proposal feel appropriate.

Yet it is this dramatic sense of efficiency, Rosenfeld said, that supports technology's "obsessive and overtrumping culture." The meaning behind the tradition of the wedding proposal and the chivalrous man coming to court his lady's hand gets lost in a whirlwind of information that appears to be attempts at just being noticed. "With the internet, people tend to be less concerned with privacy," Rosenfeld said. "They want to be obsessively public about something that people may think of as a private matter." "Fame and notoriety is something that people always have sought. In the internet age, the border to fame and notoriety is much lower, and because we live in an age of very gratifying self promotion, online proposals can sometimes devalue tradition."

But for those who fame has hit for venturing online with a wedding proposal -- such as Stephanie Sullivan Rewis and Greg Rewis, who became the first couple to propose on Twitter -- chivalry is still alive. "I didn't feel any different than women whose boyfriend proposes on the JumboTron or billboard in Times Square feel," said Stephanie Rewis. "Is it the method that matters or the thought and outcome?" Rosenfeld said he agrees with the latter. "I think that people can still have a very old fashioned view of relationships and the pursuit of marriage. The way people meet and are doing things are rapidly changing, and the internet is increasingly becoming the intermediary for all that. "So chivalry isn't dead. I think it is every bit of alive as it has ever been."

New Wedding Stats

Pair dress as Shrek, Fiona for wedding
Couple from Wales tie knot in an unforgettably green way
by Laura T. Coffey - TODAYshow.com contributor

In the eyebrow-raising department, themed weddings rarely disappoint. Diehard fans of movies and TV shows know this, and for years they’ve been staging Klingon weddings, Star Wars weddings, Middle Earth weddings. (How do you say “I do” in Elvish?)

But brace yourselves, because a whole new matrimonial “trend” is making headlines in Britain. That’s right: The Shrek wedding is here.

Tracey and Vivian Williams, a happy couple from Wales, just tied the knot by dressing up as two of their favorite movie characters: the green ogres Shrek and Princess Fiona. Tracey Williams, 33, told the British newspaper The Daily Mail that the themed wedding idea suited her and her new husband perfectly.

"Our friends always used to say we looked like the characters when we went on nights out," she said. "Even though Shrek and Fiona are both green ogres, we didn’t take it offensively because we like them so much."

The couple actually saw a "Shrek" movie on their first date and have been loyal fans ever since. To get ready for the big day, the pair covered themselves in green body paint and affixed fake green ears to the tops of their heads. Tracey donned a bright red wig to complete the Princess Fiona look, and Vivian sported checked trousers.

The Williams’ wedding guests got in on the fun, with the best man dressing up as Monsieur Hood, the bride’s father going as Lord Farquaad, the bride’s mother playing the Fairy Godmother and the maid of honor playing Snow White.

Vivian Williams, 53, told The Daily Mail that he and his bride were equally enthusiastic about the elaborate wedding plans.

"We watched the films, became addicted and when we decided to get married we both knew how we wanted the wedding to be," he said. “I wouldn’t mind betting we have started a trend — the whole family absolutely loved it. It looked amazing."

Granted, Tracey and Vivian Williams aren’t the first couple to throw a Shrek wedding on the other side of the Atlantic. In April 2009, Keith and Christine Green — (yes, their last name is Green) — coordinated a Shrek bash with 100 guests, many of whom dressed up as the Gingerbread Man, Donkey and other characters from the movie.

The couple from Devon, England, spent three hours having their green makeup meticulously applied before they said their vows. Christine Green’s mother, Annette England, told the British newspaper The Telegraph that the wedding was "great fun." She also noted: “It’s not necessarily how you imagine seeing your daughter get married."

Burden of Paying for Wedding Bells Shifts
part of an article by Abby Ellin for The New York Times
Published: April 2, 2010

WHEN it comes to paying for a wedding while remaining financially afloat, today’s rule is all hands on deck. Couples are relying not only on the kindness of the bride’s parents, who have traditionally borne most of the burden, but also on that of the bridegroom’s parents, along with the couple’s stepparents and even grandparents, aunts and uncles.

With the average American wedding running north of $28,000, according to the 2009 Condé Nast American Wedding Survey, and significantly more in major cities, most everybody must now chip in. And even as the nation seeks to shake off a deep recession, this is a trend that’s likely to stick long after the employment figures rebound.

Although her father had given her a budget for about 300 guests, when Nichole Westrom set about planning her wedding in September 2008, she learned that her fiancé’s family wanted to invite 100 more.

"That’s a good chunk of money and obviously way over budget,” recalled Ms. Westrom, now 26 and an office manger for a security company in Indianapolis. She worried about how to pay, but then her fiancé’s family offered to absorb the extra costs.

"I still hated to ask, but they were offering,” she said.

Observers say that this shift away from the bride’s family shouldering the bulk of the cost has been quietly under way for a number of years.

The Association of Bridal Consultants, an organization of 4,000 wedding planners, offered evidence that the trend has accelerated since the beginning of this century.

David M. Wood III, its president, estimated that only about 10 percent of weddings are now wholly paid for by the bride’s parents, down from the 20 percent figure that the association reported from a 2003 survey.

Mr. Wood also estimated that 33 percent of weddings are now financed by the bride and bridegroom alone, up from 27 percent in the earlier survey.

Whereas the bride’s parents traditionally covered all but the rehearsal dinner, now the bridegroom’s side is also taking care of the open bar, cake and even flowers, said Crista Tharp, a wedding planner in Kokomo, Ind.

“We are hearing of aunts and uncles picking up rehearsal dinner; friends maybe hosting after-wedding brunch or one set of parents take on an entire expense,” said Millie Martini Bratten, the editor in chief of Brides magazine. “The rest is paid for by a combination of his and her family.”

But with these shifts in the financial landscape of weddings have come changes in the dynamics of who gets to call the shots.

According to Lizzie Post, a great-great-granddaughter of Emily Post and a spokeswoman for the etiquette institute in Burlington, Vt., that bears her ancestor’s name, “Money should never be used as a bargaining or leveraging chip.” Nor does she think it is ever acceptable for one family to dictate solely what’s happening in the wedding — especially if all parties are paying. “You should get the two families together in advance and talk very respectfully and candidly about what everyone’s wishes and expectations are.”

For India's Newly Rich Farmers, Limos Won't Do
from Kuni Takahash's article for The New York Times
March 18, 2010

NOIDA, India — Bhisham Singh Yadav, father of the groom, is stressed. His rented Lexus got stuck behind a bullock cart. He has hired a truck to blast Hindi pop, but it is too big to maneuver through his village. At least his grandest gesture, evidence of his upward mobility, is circling overhead. The helicopter has arrived.

Girls protected their faces from the dust near Delhi as a helicopter carried the groom to his bride's village less than two miles away. Mr. Yadav, a wheat farmer, has never flown, nor has anyone else in the family. And this will only be a short trip: delivering his son less than two miles to the village of the bride. But like many families in this expanding suburb of New Delhi, the Yadavs have come into money, and they want everyone to know it.

"People will remember that his son went on a helicopter for his marriage," a cousin, Vikas Yadav, shouted over the din. "People should know they are spending money. For us, things like this are the stuff of dreams."

By Western standards, few of these farmers are truly rich. But in India, where the annual per capita income is about $1,000 and where roughly 800 million people live on less than $2 a day, some farmers have gotten windfalls of several million rupees by selling land. Over the years, farmers and others have sold more than 50,000 acres of farmland as Noida has evolved into a suburb of 300,000 people with shopping malls and office parks.

That has created what might seem to be a pleasant predicament: What to do with the cash? Some farmers have bought more land, banked money, invested in their children's educations or made improvements to their homes. In Punjab, a few farmers told the Indian news media they wanted to use their land riches to move to Canada. But still others are broke after indulging in spending sprees for cars, holiday trips and other luxuries.

"They go for Land Rovers," said N. Sridharan, a professor at the School of Planning and Architecture in New Delhi. "They buy more televisions, and quite a lot of money also goes into drinking. They try to blow it out."

Much of this conspicuous consumption is bad financial planning by farmers who have little education or experience with the seductive heat of cold cash. But some sociologists say such ostentatious spending, especially on weddings, is rooted in the desire of lower castes to show off their social mobility, partly by emulating the practices of the upper castes.

In India, as in many places, a wedding has always been equal parts religious ceremony, theatrical production and wealth demonstration project. For the country's elite, the latest matrimonial trend is destination weddings in Bali or palaces in Rajasthan. For the new rich, hiring a helicopter is motivated by the same impulses for excitement and one-upmanship.

"Everyone wants to be better than the others," said Subhash Goyal, whose travel company handles three or four helicopter weddings every year in the Delhi region. "This is how the new rich behave. They want to show off and say, ‘I have more money than you.' "

On the morning of his son's wedding, Mr. Yadav sat in the shabby brick courtyard of his village home, finalizing the last details of a ceremony that seemed to straddle different centuries. He had earned about $109,000 selling three acres of his ancestral land. He banked some of the money, renovated his house, bought a small Hyundai and purchased three more acres farther out to continue farming.

He estimates that his share of the wedding — the bride's father pays a bigger share — will cost him $13,000, including $8,327 for the chopper. "It is for my happiness, for the happiness of my son," said Mr. Yadav, 36. "In my marriage, I went in a car. But that was a different era."

As the family began the traditional procession through the village, his son, Kapil, 19, was dressed in embroidered finery atop a white horse. Mr. Yadav's rented white Lexus finally got around the bullock cart; he was taking it to the bride's village while his son rode in the chopper. As another touch, Mr. Yadav also had hired a truck — the Reenu Rock Star 2010 Hi-Fi DJ — to lead the procession. It was playing Hindi pop so loudly that the brick homes of the village seemed to shake.

Then a problem arose: The truck was stuck at a tight corner, and the procession was pinned between the truck and a herd of water buffaloes. As people slipped around the marooned Reenu Rock Star, another problem materialized: The helicopter was already circling above.

Usually, the procession is a slow parade to wave to neighbors. But the Yadavs had rented the helicopter by the hour, so everyone started running, sidestepping the piles of water buffalo dung and the channel of open sewage. The corpulent mother of the groom, her flesh spilling out of her sari, giggled as she barreled toward the arriving aircraft.

"Oh my God!" she exclaimed. "We are so happy!"
The helicopter landed in a clearing. In the distance, the concrete skeletons of new apartment towers were clouded in a haze. Hundreds of villagers surrounded the small blue helicopter, which was guarded by a detail of local police officers. Then the groom and two relatives jumped in, and the blue bird rose over the village, as Mr. Yadav hopped in the Lexus and roared toward the bride's village.

The ride took five minutes, and Mr. Yadav barely beat the arriving chopper. When the son stepped onto solid ground, he was wearing a garland made of 100 rupee notes. The helicopter was to return in the morning, after the wedding ceremony, to deliver the newlyweds back to the groom's village and the rest of their lives.

But as the white-haired pilot prepared to depart, the father of the bride, Davinder Singh Yadav, pulled him close. "Please take it over the village a few times before you leave," he shouted. "The village is so big. Everybody needs to see it."

A moment later, as the copter circled above the small farming houses, the father said: "The whole village will remember. The whole world will remember."

It's August. They're Coming for You.
The New York Times
August 13, 2009 - By JOYCE WADLER

Judy Lewis, an owner of HudsonValleyWeddings.com, an online wedding planning resource, tells the story of a bride-to-be who was blindsided one day by a phone call from an out-of-town cousin. . ..

"She proceeded to tell the bride that financial constraints meant that she would have to bring her three young children to the wedding," Ms. Lewis wrote in an e-mail message. "Then she announced that the same economic downturn necessitated her staying at the bride's home for a few days before, during and after the wedding. The cousin also said that since the bridal couple was going on a honeymoon immediately following the reception, she was sure the bride wouldn't mind the family staying on when they went away."

The bride, horrified, needed time to come up with an excuse, so she told the cousin she had to take a call. Then she e-mailed Ms. Lewis.

"I suggested that she tell the cousin that as much as she wanted them at the wedding, she simply could not put them up as houseguests," Ms. Lewis continued. "I recommended that as an excuse, she say that there were many out-of-town guests who had requested lodging and she couldn't say yes to one and no to another. As for staying at her home during the honeymoon, I suggested she say there were several maintenance things going on at the house which would eliminate the possibility of having guests: particularly fogging for pests, steam cleaning the carpet and painting."

The tactic worked. Although the cousin still brought her children to the wedding.

Want to read the whole story? Click Here.

Little Helpers' Wedding Opens Santa Congress
By Jan M. Olsen, Associated Press

While much of the annual Santa Claus World Congress is a joke, two of Santa's little helpers were completely serious when they exchanged vows in a civil ceremony Monday.

The elf-eared Rune Hamrath Hansen kissed the bride, Sine Andersen, at a Christmas-themed wedding that opened the annual convention in an amusement park outside Copenhagen.

Hansen, 28, proposed to 21-year-old Andersen during last year's edition of the summertime Christmas celebration, which has brought together Santas from around the world since 1957.

"They are so beautiful," said Paradise Yamamoto, a Santa from Tokyo. "Merry Christmas," he bellowed, as the couple was showered with rice and heart-shaped confetti during a horse-drawn carriage ride around the Dyrehavsbakken park. The ceremony, conducted by a local deputy mayor, momentarily took the focus off the 150 or so Kris Kringles who are meeting and entertaining here for three days.

Apart from debating Christmas-related issues such as the proper size of chimneys and weight regulations for Santas, the round-bellied delegates will go for a swim and parade through Copenhagen on vintage fire trucks.

A bicycle ride on Tuesday will show that Santas care about their health as well as climate change, organizers said.

Some Santas said they felt they had an especially important role to play this year, because of concerns about global warming and the economic crisis.

"The role of Santa is to tell people that there's always hope even if the skies are threatening," said Douglas Gowin, a St. Nick from Washington, D.C.

Ron Horniblew, of Luton, Britain, agreed. "If you can make someone smile, you have done it," he said. "We need it these days"

Sleepy Hollow church rejects Halloween-themed wedding, offers graveyard ceremony instead
Associated Press

SLEEPY HOLLOW, N.Y. - A church made famous by Washington Irving's short story, "The Legend of Sleepy Hollow," has rejected a couple's request to hold a Halloween-themed wedding.

Lisa Panensky and Jim Nieves signed a contract 13 months ago to get married on Halloween at the Old Dutch Church in Sleepy Hollow, N.Y.

Church officials balked at the couple's plans to wear costumes and include theme music from "The Addams Family" and "The Munsters."

The Rev. Jeff Gargano said he only recently learned of the Halloween theme. He offered instead to marry them in the cemetery of the 17th-century church, but the couple declined.

The church has offered to refund their deposit. The couple say they may get married at home.

Planning a Wedding in the Hurricane Season
by Michael Brito, 1888articles.com

The summer months are some of the most popular times of the year for weddings with so many couples now looking at tropical destinations to hold their event. Aruba, the Bahamas, and Florida are favored wedding spots, with the latter two being among the most prized. Unfortunately, both locations fall smack dab in the middle of hurricane territory thereby increasing the risks that wedding plans could be cancelled in the event a storm hits. Are you considering a tropical wedding? If so, don’t let your choice of venue ruin your day; instead consider taking some important measures to ensure that your wedding plans go forward no matter what the weather conditions may be.

Before you make plans to hold your wedding far from home, especially in an area prone to hurricane activity, there are some things you must consider first:

Location Is Everything. White sugar sand beaches are an attractive and unforgettable place to hold a tropical wedding. Just before sunset you and your betrothed meet together with your guests to exchange vows as the fiery red sun slowly sets to the west. A calm cooling breeze and the whiff of pure ocean air delights you and your wedding party who are enthralled at your choice of setting. Afterwards, you move indoors or over to a nearby outdoor pavilion for a celebration lasting into the early hours of the morning.

That gentle breeze can quickly turn into a gale as the storm clouds roll in and as the surf kicks up. Soon, your outdoor wedding plans are threatened. If you are resolute on holding your wedding during hurricane season, your entire event could be cancelled especially if it is held in an evacuation zone. These evacuation zones, which include the beach and surrounding areas, are always the first to close up when a big storm threatens and the last to re-open when everything calms down. Can you afford the delay? Will your facility even be standing when you return?

Preparation is the Key. Even if your venue is not evacuated, do they have a back up generator on hand should you lose power? Will each of your vendors stick around or will they head out at the first sign of trouble? Remember, their minds could be focused on securing their personal belongings and ensuring the safety of family members first. Who could blame them? However, it is important for you to know if things can continue on as planned despite the adverse weather conditions.
Contingency Plans are Necessary. Out of town guests may have trouble arriving if airports are shut down, roads close, and hotels fill up with people fleeing the impacted area. Fort Lauderdale could be the target, but your Pensacola Beach wedding plans may still be threatened if the area is flooded with evacuees. Make certain that your guests are protected financially in the event that your wedding plans are cancelled or moved elsewhere. Encourage everyone to purchase travel insurance to cover the worst case scenarios.

Of course, by now you may be rethinking your idea of a Florida wedding altogether. Likely, some of the other destinations are appealing, but they could be too pricey in comparison. However, if you choose to get married in Florida during the January to April time period, the chances of an out-of-season hurricane marring your plans are virtually nil. Besides, you and your guests may appreciate the off season get-a-way especially after enduring a long, cold winter!

Japan's Latest Fad: Spouse-Hunting
Matt Cantor, Newser Summary from the Wall Street Journal

Some call it a passing fad, but in Japan, konkatsu—"marriage hunting"—has inspired events in venues ranging from bars to baseball stadiums, the Wall Street Journal reports. A book that uses the word, punning on the words for “marriage” and “activity,” has sold 170,000 copies in Japan, where marriage rates have dropped precipitously in recent decades.

The proportion of unmarried men aged 30 to 34 soared from 14% to 47% over three decades; the figure for women shot from 8% to 32%. Traditional matchmaking by neighbors, relatives, and company bosses has abated, and konkatsu is taking its place. A Hokkaido baseball team is even organizing a speed-dating event during a game. But a serious imbalance is hindering the movement: women appear far more interested than men.

Novel Bouquet Toss Brings Down Plane in Italy
Harry Kimball, Newser.com
A wedding bouquet in Italy failed to predict the next bride-to-be, but it did succeed in downing a small plane, the Guardian reports. Hoping to spice up the proceedings, the wedding party entrusted the bouquet to a man who flew overhead in an ultra-light aircraft. When he attempted to cast the flowers down to waiting unwed women, they fouled the propeller instead and sent the plane spiraling to the ground. Luckily, no fatalities resulted.

The plane narrowly missed the restaurant in Suvereto, near Pisa, where the wedding was held and a hostel where 50 travelers were gathered. The pilot of the ultra-light was unharmed, but his passenger—the bouquet thrower—suffered two broken legs and injuries to the head and face. The bouquet’s trip through the tail rotor caused an explosion in the motor that robbed the plane of power.

Space fanatics to stage zero gravity wedding at Kennedy Space Centre
By Alastair Jamieson, Telelgraph.com.uk
June 4, 2009. . .

A pair of space fanatics will have a wedding that is out of this world when they become the first couple to get married floating in zero gravity at the Kennedy Space Centre.
Noah Fulmor will offer a floating Erin Finnegan a ring made of fragments from a meteorite that crashed into the Earth 30,000 years ago. Noah Fulmor, 31, and Erin Finnegan, 30, will exchange vows on an aircraft at the centre at Cape Canaveral, Florida, that can simulate weightlessness similar to a spaceship in orbit. The groom will offer the floating bride a ring made of fragments from a meteorite that crashed into the Earth 30,000 years ago.

Marry with a fixed-term contract, not for 'til death do us part
by Helen Goltz
April 24, 2009 . . .

According to the Australian Bureau of Statistics it appears that lifelong marriages are becoming a thing of the past. Few marry for life any more. Thirty-two per cent of divorces involved separation within the first five years of marriage, and 22 per cent within five to nine years of marriage. We have fixed term-contracts for the buying of property, cars and insurance, but there is only one contract available for marriage and it is for life. Is it time to consider introducing fixed-term marriage contracts? The fixed-term contract is not meant to be a "quick fix" or an "easy out".

It would allow for the celebration of the renewal of vows after a five-year or 10-year term and encourage partners to work towards maintaining a good relationship – in effect, it opens communication akin to a marriage performance review. Or it would allow for the marriage to be dissolved by completing an acceptable contract term, without the shame and stigma associated with the failure of a marriage. So why bother getting married at all? Because inherently we want to believe that we are making a commitment for life. Surely no one enters a marriage with a view to "give it a shot".
We stand in front of friends, family, even God and promise "until death do us part" and, at the time, we believe it. This only adds to the sense of failure when we can't deliver this promise.

It's a simple process: the standard certificate of marriage becomes a five-year contract. The marriage celebrant would continue to retain a copy for their records; forward the certificate to the Registry of Births, Deaths and Marriages for the registration of the marriage; and provide the marrying couple with a copy.

The marriage licence would clearly state the start and dissolution date for the five-year term.

The marriage contract dissolves if the parties do not "apply again". This eliminates the stress of dissolving the marriage by having to reopen wounds one year later, file papers together and be issued divorce papers.

The celebration is in the renewing – what better excuse for a party and family gathering?

The marrying couple are responsible for monitoring the date of renewal, signing the renewal form, having it witnessed by a Justice of the Peace and returning the form to the Registry of Births, Deaths and Marriages.

Perhaps when a couple completes a 10-year marriage term (two five-year consecutive contracts), they could opt to undertake an "eternity" contract.

And what about the children? Divorces are happening irrespective of the family unit. The proportion of divorces involving children was 49.3 per cent in 2007 (ABS). Is a fixed-term marriage contract likely to increase this statistic? Are parents more likely to stay together for the children if they have a traditional marriage licence?

According to Families in Australia: 2008 (released by the Department of the Prime Minister and Cabinet), marriage bears a less direct relationship to having children.

By 2026, couples without children are projected by the ABS to be the most common type of family in Australia (44 per cent of all families).

We are a society that has adapted to change: divorce, work contracts, the internet, SMS text, email, digital television, water restrictions and much more.

Eventually a generation may only know of one type of marriage contract: fixed-term.

Joseph and Pat Rubino's 50th Anniversary
by by Mark Stein, Staten Island Advance
April 23, 2009 . . .

It was supposed to be a friend's 40th birthday party.

Or at least Joseph and Leona (Pat) Rubino thought ... until they walked through the door to see flashing camera lights.

"Surprise!" yelled 80 family members and friends, all present at the Crystal Room, South Beach, on April 19 to honor the couple's 50 years of marriage.

Joseph Rubino stands with his daughter, Leona Renny, and a shy granddaughter during the party.Pat, 70, and Joseph, 71, of Dongan Hills, were in awe. Their daughter, Leona Renny, said her mother told her "she had tears in her eyes."

"I said, 'They made a mistake, it was supposed to be for Lucy,' " said Joseph Rubino, convinced the party was for somebody else. "I feel great. On top of the world."

He had no idea, he explained, because the family threw the couple a party two weeks ago. Little did he know it was just a tactic to get them to lower their guard.

My Big Femanist Wedding
by Jessica Valenti, The Guardian
April 24, 2009 . . .

"One of the first things people ask when they find out that I am engaged is what the proposal was like. (The second is not so much a question, but a speedy grab for my left hand to inspect the diamond they imagine they will find there.)

The problem is that there is no proposal story to tell. At least, not the kind most people expect. There were no rose petals scattered on a satin-sheeted bed, no trips to the Eiffel tower, no ring hidden in a champagne glass. There wasn't even any kneeling. My partner Andrew and I made the leap in the way that suited us best - we talked about it, and jointly decided that we should get engaged. For us, it was perfect. But, as I soon learned, there is no such thing as perfect when you are a feminist getting married.

Andrew encountered confused faces when he talked about our non-traditional proposal; my extended family looked similarly quizzical when I mentioned that I would be keeping my last name. The fact that Andrew and I had had conversations about the misogynist traditions that accompany marriage made us a bit of an oddity, it seemed. Then there were the fellow feminists who felt that getting married was a sop to the patriarchy, and the problems that we encountered as a couple. Because, with the best will in the world, kissing goodbye to gender roles can be more difficult than it looks.

As a kid, I wasn't sure that I would ever get married - I was not the kind of little girl who played at being a bride. My parents have a wonderful marriage, but they have been together since my mother was 12, married when they were just teenagers and are barely ever separated. They even work together. As a result, I have always thought of marriage as involving the loss of a certain amount of autonomy. Not to mention that, as feminist as our household was, I grew up seeing my mother do the majority of the domestic work and her paid day job to boot. That did not exactly sweeten the deal.

As I grew up and began identifying myself as a feminist, there were plenty of issues that continued to make me question marriage: the father "giving" the bride away, women taking their husband's last name, the white dress, the vows promising to "obey" the groom. And that only covers the wedding. Once you get married, women are still implicitly expected to do the majority of the housework and take care of any future children. I remember reading one study that said that even couples who had been living together for years in equitable bliss ended up with a more "traditional" division of household labour if they got married - as though signing that piece of paper somehow skewed their sense of fair play.

But never underestimate the power of being in love. Andrew is fabulous and I want to be married to him - due in no small part to the fact that he also identifies himself as a feminist and that an equal partnership is just as important to him as it is to me. So when we decided to get married, we talked about the traditions to avoid (white dress), what to incorporate (both parents walking us both down the aisle) and, of course, how to plan the wedding.

From the beginning, Andrew and I agreed that we would not be one of those couples in which the woman ends up doing all of the wedding-related work because she is the person who is supposed to care about it the most. No, we were going to do this fairly. He would take care of booking the music, I would handle the flowers. I would cover the invite list, he would deal with the invitations. Several months later, when I found myself up to my eyeballs in sample invitations and band websites - while Andrew read the newspaper or dallied online - I was ready to throw in the towel on so-called domestic bliss.

As founder of the website feministing.com, I have written online about everything from vibrators to the form of birth control I use, but I had been worried about blogging about our engagement. When you address personal issues, especially those so fraught with politics, you are sure to cause a stir. But all of a sudden, touching on the woes of feminist wedding planning did not seem such a bad idea. My feminist friends and community online took the announcement well - with the exception of several commenters who felt my getting married was antithetical to feminism. One, with the username looselips, wrote that she was disappointed that I "seem to find flaws with patriarchy, but fail to find a way to bring it down". But mostly there were plenty of congratulations and hundreds of comments from other feminists on the ways their political beliefs had informed their weddings and marriages. EmilyKennedy wrote about her purple wedding dress, lack of a diamond ring and her decision not to have a "crap-tastic white cake". ShifterCat told of a friend's wedding where, as a small memento, every guest received "a little scroll saying that a donation has been made in their name to Habitat For Humanity". Another reader told me about a website - offbeatbride.com - that was a good alternative to the frou-frou sites that seem to dominate the wedding-based blogosphere. This was the kind of advice I was looking for.

Emboldened, I blogged again - this time about the ways I was incorporating feminism into the wedding. I wrote about keeping my last name and buying a not-quite white dress from a store that gives all the money to charity. I blogged about the struggle Andrew and I had getting engaged in the same month that California overturned same-sex marriage rights. We had actually discussed not getting married until everyone could; instead, we decided to use our impending marriage as a way to talk about same-sex marriage among our friends and family. In our engagement announcement, for example, we asked anyone considering getting us a gift to instead donate to an organisation fighting for same-sex marriage rights. It felt good, feminist even, to write about an institution so wrought with sexism and discuss ways to make it our own. To others, however, the way I was approaching my wedding - questioning old traditions; creating new ones - just made me a bridezilla. Kathryn Lopez of the conservative publication National Review, wrote a post entitled "You've Never Met a Bridezilla Like a Feminist Bridezilla", mocking my attempts to subvert traditional wedding standards. Another blogger wrote about Andrew, featuring his picture and a link to his personal website, in a faux contest - "Beta of the month" - the idea being that a real alpha male wouldn't be caught dead marrying a feminist. (Or a "ball-cutting cybersuccubus", as I was, in fact, described. Think I can get that on a business card?)

But as it turned out, it was posts such as these, which mocked us for being thoughtful about our decision to get married, that brought Andrew and I closer. And the dismissing of our feminist values made us discuss and embrace them even more. Andrew took a renewed interest in his wedding-planning tasks, recognising that it wasn't just important for the sake of my sanity, but as a political statement too.

Because we do want our marriage to be a partnership, with bumps in the road to be sure, but bumps to be taken together.

So, while our wedding will be politicised, it won't be a feminist caricature: I won't be sporting Birkenstocks under my dress and we won't ask the "Goddess" for a blessing. But we will head into the wedding, and the marriage, as equals. Now, when our friends and family give us strange looks when we discuss our non-proposal, or the hyphenated last name options for our future children, we just smile. Because whether it's an old-fashioned aunt or a stranger online, we realise that the only opinion that matters when it comes to our marriage is ours.

The New York Times 2009 Weddings Special Advertising Supplement
March, 2009 . . .

"From tried and true to the brand new, couples young and old are choosing from the best of everything to celebrate their love."
"10 Ways to Make Your Wedding Your Own"
1- "Fly Me to the Wedding-Moon"
Combines the wedding with the honeymoon in one location.
2- "There's No Place Like Home"
Stay local to where you live and do a destination-weekend-wedding without flying, or driving any significant distance.
3- "Your Ticket to Paradise"
Look for deals and promotions on-line for destination weddings that take you away from home, but aren't outrageously expensive.
4- "Green is the New White"
Look to include organic, green, and healthy into your wedding, with an emphasis on everything local from food to flowers.
5- "We're Getting Marries – Google Us!"
Use the web for every angle of planning your wedding. Plan everything your honeymoon. Set up a Bridal Registry and Check out where regional Bridal Shows are being held . . . that and more.
6- "late Up a Storm"
Take food to a new level by kicking bland entrees, concocting fun and fancy new beverages, and make hors d'ouevres into a meal.
7- "Do Good as You Say I Do"
Include a percentage of the gifts you receive as donations to your favorite charity, or ask your guests to do so in lieu of gifts to you.
8- "Gild the Lily"
Use flowers to "stage" your wedding, including color coordination that is carried throughout.
9- "Surprise Them"
Introduce "unexpected" flowers into your event, such as using spring flowers at a wedding at the very end of the winter.
10-"Let Them Eat Cupcakes"
. . . or perhaps petit-fours instead of a traditional wedding cake.

Celebrity wedding planner short on brides
By Shawn Cohen ~ The Journal News
February 23, 2009

WHITE PLAINS - Models strutted down a fashion runway at the Ritz-Carlton Westchester yesterday as celebrity wedding planner David Tutera, with his perfectly coiffed hair, marveled over the sheer beauty of the women and dresses.

Candles burned on tables bursting with bouquets, waitresses strode around with pink cocktails and hors d'oeuvres, while vendors in formal wear showed off their lavish invitations, photography, jewelry, gowns, tuxedos and desserts to help brides plan their dream wedding.

The only thing lacking from the inaugural gala was the brides themselves.

While organizers anticipated a few hundred, only about 50 turned out, a disappointment to some of the vendors. And many brides who did attend had no intention of indulging in all of the fancy offerings, having scaled back their lofty aspirations because they simply can't afford extravagance in these bleak economic times.

"It's extremely stressful," said Jennifer Berkoski, a 27-year-old lawyer from White Plains, watching the high-end bridal event, "Something Blue," with her sister-maid of honor. "We can't do what we thought we'd be able to do."

Still, the show went on. And the person in charge, Marcie McGeehan, said that despite the underwhelming turnout, the wedding season is proceeding full swing.

If anything, more couples are planning to marry this year than last, seeing it as a way to not just formalize their unions, but also reduce expenses by sharing bills and a home, McGeehan said.

"Instead of maintaining two (residences) and living two separate lives, they're going ahead and merging into one residence and getting married," said McGeehan, director of sales and marketing for the hotel. "It's providing a little more stability."

As for the celebrations, many are no longer willing to remortgage their homes or take out loans for elaborate ceremonies that, in Westchester, average about $75,000. There's a new focus on priorities, on maintaining what's most important while saving in other areas. For some, this means paring down the guest lists, perhaps choosing less fancy invitations, eliminating the shrimp boat, scaling down the entertainment and booking venues on less popular days. People are also pursuing discounts that are being offered by vendors and receptions halls.

Tutera, who hosts the WE channel's "My Fair Wedding," encourages families to be realistic about what they can afford and budgeting for a wedding that doesn't produce undue stress.

"People walk in and they've got this black cloud over them," he said. "My job is to put the silver lining around it."
For those who have seen their budgets cut in half, Tutera said, "you can't have that 300-person, black-tie event in the Plaza Hotel that you thought you were going to have a year ago."

"You have to either change your venue or change your guest list, make alterations from the way you think you wanted to have your party to the way it has to be now," he said.

Stressed over money, Berkoski had contemplated eloping with her fiance, Mike Caruso, 26, of White Plains. But she said, "My dad would hunt us down and kill my fiance if we were to do that." So she is cutting the guest list in half, to 150, buying simpler invitations and flowers, and skipping the videographer.

"We just want people who are most important to us to be there," she said.

Martha Patierno and Chris Muller of White Plains, a young couple who got engaged in October, are planning their wedding for a Friday, forgoing the sit-down dinner in favor of a cocktail party, and inviting no more than 100 people to try to meet their $10,000 budget.

"I might wear a cocktail dress," Patierno half-joked after viewing wedding gowns yesterday ranging from $500 to $7,000.

Genevieve Civetta, 24, of Scarsdale was also thinking about priorities, but her mother, who joined her for the bridal show, said her greatest one is giving her daughter a once-in-a-lifetime experience.

"This is not a time to save money," Kathleen Civetta said. "Economy aside, a wedding only happens once. You want it to be special."

Local Couple to Tie the Knot at Coca-Cola Park
October, 2008 Lehigh Valley to host first wedding at brand-new stadium
By Benjamin Hill / Special to MLB.com

When one thinks of potential sites for a "dream wedding," it's doubtful that a Minor League Baseball stadium comes to mind, especially if the stadium in question is named after a soft drink and hosts a team named after a mythical breed of industrialized swine.

Perceptions will change this Friday, however, when the Lehigh Valley IronPigs host the first-ever wedding at brand-new Coca-Cola Park. Allentown natives Tiffany Rupp and Scott Kushner will tie the knot in front of their friends, family and approximately 8,000 fans.

This origins of this unusual betrothal dates back to October, when the IronPigs announced a contest in which one lucky couple would win a free on-field wedding at Coca-Cola Park.

"We asked people to send in 150-word essays that explained why they should be chosen for this honor," explained Mary Nixon, the IronPigs' director of special events. "About 50 couples applied, and we set up a committee of six of us here in the front office to pick the winner."

These half-dozen powerful people eventually selected Rupp and Kushner, a young, baseball-loving couple with a unique story regarding how they first laid eyes on each other.

"They first met at Swarthmore College," said Nixon. "He was playing center field in a baseball game, and she was playing center field in a softball game. The two outfields were back-to-back and they spent the afternoon checking each other out."

Due in part to this improbable story, Rupp and Kushner will be the recipients of a "free" wedding. The rings, photos, formal wear, cake, limousine service and much more are being provided by local businesses that offer wedding-related products and services.

"The wedding party will take luxury transportation to the ballgame and everyone will receive custom-made 'Inaugural Wedding' t-shirts," said Nixon. "The ceremony will take place at 6:40, and when that concludes, we'll have the groom throw out the game's first pitch to his best man."

The wedding reception will take place in the IronPigs' Party Porch area, though some of the attendees may find themselves back on the field during the game. All of the evening's between-inning promotions will be wedding-related, including a groomsmen dizzy bat race and a "first dance" in the seventh-inning stretch. The night will conclude with a fireworks display.

While the IronPigs' "Inaugural Wedding" is undeniably generous, the club did have an ulterior motive in mind when staging this promotion. Coca-Cola Park is a year-round facility that is fully equipped to host wedding receptions and other large events. Naturally, the club hopes that Rupp and Kushner's special day at the ballpark will inspire others to follow suit, even if they have to pay for it.

"We've done everything we can to make this special, and I really believe that this is just going to be an awesome night," said Nixon. "We're hoping that a lot more fans will want to get married here, once they see what we're capable of."

West Point Cadets to be Married In Time of War WAR -
Hudson Valley Events to Plan Wedding Free of Charge
November, 2008, Highland Falls, NY
Planning a wedding can be extremely difficult. But when two soldiers are engaged to be married while serving their country during a time of war, planning a wedding is next to impossible. That’s why Hudson Valley Events, a local wedding planning business in Warwick, NY, has agreed to provide its services free of charge to two West Point graduates.

LT Bryan Fisher, a 2007 USMA West Point graduate, currently deployed in Iraq, is engaged to be married to West Point senior Pao Mei Etchells. The wedding is scheduled for Sunday, May 24, 2009, just one day after Miss Etchells graduates.

Aside from the emotional stress of having a fiancé serve in a time of war, attempting to coordinate a wedding under such circumstances can be overwhelming. The future bride is in her senior year at West Point learning the essential lifesaving skills she will need when deployed to Iraq after graduation. The groom is serving overseas. And that leaves the couple with no choice but to rely on family and friends to do the planning for them—family and friends who have busy lives of their own, not to mention no experience planning weddings. How can they be sure that the end result will match the touching detailed vision the bride and groom have in mind for this incredibly special day in their lives? Enter wedding industry professional Anh Sobo.

"We are so grateful to Anh Sobo and Hudson Valley Events for agreeing to plan our wedding,” said CDT CPT Pao Mei Etchells. “With so much happening right now, it is a huge burden off of our shoulders.”

Hudson Valley Events owner Anh Sobo recently agreed to provide its wedding planning services for free to the couple after it became clear that the young military couple’s tight budget would not accommodate her company’s services, despite desperately needing her help in bringing their wedding dreams to life. “When they told me they couldn't’t afford a wedding planner, my heart broke,” said Anh Sobo. “As soon as I hung up the phone with them, my first thought was ‘I’m going to do it anyway.’”

Plans for the special day have already begun. The wedding ceremony will take place at the Cadet Chapel on the West Point campus. They’re still deciding on a location for the reception, but Sobo says she’s including numerous special touches. “I am certain that these two young soldiers will get the wedding they envisioned. ” she said. “While they are serving our country, it will definitely give them something to look forward to.”

Mrs. Sobo is enlisting the aid of other wedding vendors as well. “It is time that we as a group give something back. I’ve spoken with a few of my associates and the response is overwhelmingly positive,” said Anh Sobo. Steven Bruce Designs of Stone Ridge has decided to donate their floral services and Maritza Lasher of Enchanting Jewelz is going to do something for the couple. She says that many other vendors are still needed and hopes that the Wedding Community will come forward and extend a hand to this couple.

Don't be surprised if next year she decides to do this again. "The more I help this couple, the more I realize that there are so many others out there that deserve help also. I would love to turn this into an annual thing" she said. "Maybe where the Hudson Valley wedding community comes together to grant a dream wedding to a deserving couple. Something along the lines of a sort of scholarship or something where people can send me their story about why they deserve my help. Couples in the military, couples who volunteer their time, couples who are doing something for their communities or country. That would be great."

Anh Sobo is the owner of Hudson Valley Events a wedding and event planning company specializing in Hudson Valley venues. She has over 18 years in the industry.
Contact: Anh Sobo · Hudson Valley Events · anhsobo@optonline.net · 845-258-9195

First the Marriage, Then the Courtship
Whisper the words "arranged marriage," and images of women signed over as chattel are likely to rise in the minds of many Westerners. But, say culture watchers and sociologists, there's a rising interest in this age-old practice in the West, as shown by at least two books and three upcoming television series on the topic - as well as a growing number of matchmaking sites devoted solely to arranging unions.

More important, couples with no cultural or family tradition of arranged marriages are entering into matrimony with proper strangers in what is being called a "turbo-charged back to the future."

While the number of nuptials consummated in this way is still small, there's evidence that some of the principles of these traditional pacts are drawing attention and respect from both scholars and singles who are anxious to move into a married state.

"In this Internet age, we have so many options we want people to narrow them down for us," says futurist Marian Saltzman, chief marketing officer at Porter Novelli in New York, who calls arranged marriages one of the "developing trends of the moment."

Internet dating has exhausted many people, she adds, suggesting that if online courtship is the yin of modern relationships, then arranged marriages are the yang. "People are saying to themselves, 'I'm tired of a whole bunch of cheap Hershey bars. I want gourmet chocolate and a connoisseur to tell me which of the top two brands I should choose.' "

But, she points out, arranged marriages in countries such as the United States are "not the old routine of dads selling daughters for a dowry; these kids have veto power."

David Weinlick and his wife, Elizabeth, began their union through what their "marriage arranger," good friend Steve Fletcher, calls "a piece of whimsy."

Mr. Fletcher, a political consultant, got together with a group of friends and announced that Mr. Weinlick would be married on a certain date, but needed a bride. "After we put this out as a press release, we thought nobody would take this seriously," he says. Instead, the group received hundreds of responses and more than two dozen women showed up on the appointed date to be "vetted" as potential brides.

Ten years and three children later, Weinlick says, "We love each other more every day." He and his wife, who is a nurse, agree that one of the keys to the union's success has been their shared values. "We were both committed to commitment," he adds.

Nick Gilhool, casting director for the impending Lifetime cable show "Arranged Marriage," in which four couples will take the plunge and allow cameras to film their first year together, says applicants share a frustration with dating and a desire to "be proactive" about their love lives. "Marriage is being repositioned and reexamined," he says.

The tradition of arranged marriages and the lessons it has for 21st-century couples interests author Reva Seth, an attorney of Indian heritage whose parents came together in an arranged marriage. "Everyone I know is questioning the role of marriage today," says the New Jersey-raised writer who now lives in Toronto with her husband and 4-year-old son.

She began to interview women from arranged marriages with an eye to discovering lessons for Westerners. The biggest surprise, says the author of "First Comes Marriage," is that "most of these women are happy, the main reason being that they have realistic expectations about their partners and always viewed them as a life partner, not a lifesaver."

One of the cornerstones of traditional arranged marriages is the participation of family members. In the case of Huriya Manzar, a 30-something computer programmer from Staten Island, N.Y., her parents and brothers arranged her marriage when she was 18. "For us, marriage is not so much about two people being in love," says Ms. Manzar. "It is about a relationship to a larger community, our family, our friends, and our neighbors."

She says her marriage to a man with whom she had spoken only briefly before they wed has been about "two human beings compromising and realizing that the other is only human, not some perfect being." Now pregnant with their second child, she adds that she loves her husband, although she does not feel she was ever "in love" with him.

This notion of romantic love and fulfillment through a soul mate is the cornerstone of much dissatisfaction, says psychologist Stan Tatkin. He's not surprised at singles investigating arranged marriage because it fits into one of the basic definitions of happiness. "People generally find they are more able to find happiness from the things to which they commit themselves," he says.

Lisa Clampitt, cofounder of the Matchmaking Institute, and her husband of five years barely knew one another when they wed. "He proposed within 20 minutes of meeting me, I said yes, and a week later we sent out 'evites' to our friends," says the former social worker with a laugh, recalling that many of her buddies didn't respond because they considered it a joke. "But, within two months we'd gone to Las Vegas and married and begun our life together. We just found things out after committing to each other, rather than before."

Still, not all stories have such a happy ending. Sophia McDonald, a university-educated Russian immigrant says that her mother began looking for a husband for her by contacting an international matchmaker. Ms. McDonald exchanged letters and visits with a suitor from Seattle, whom she married. Once in the US, though, she discovered that he had no income and was not who he represented himself to be. So she divorced him and became a matchmaker. "I know the dangers these women face and don't want the same thing to happen to them," she says.

Arranged marriage, as it's practiced traditionally, will never take deep root in the West, says Robert Epstein, visiting scholar at the University of California, San Diego. "We don't have the ... most important ingredients" - a strong community support system, either religious or social, and shared values or beliefs.

But, says the author of the upcoming book, "Making Love," a study of the potential lessons from traditional matrimonial customs, Westerners can absorb the deeper principles, such as that love doesn't have to rely on the click of Cupid's wand; it can be "made."

He points to a story about an arranged marriage in a novel by Salman Rushdie. Day by day, the wife contemplates a small aspect of her husband and resolves to love that single quality. Bit by bit, she comes to love the whole man.

Just as mainstream culture has absorbed the notion that we can work to improve our physiques and our careers, says Dr. Epstein, we'll come to accept that we can "work" on marriage and love.

World's Tallest Man Weds Woman Who Reaches His Elbow
The world's tallest man, who measures 7' 9", got married on Thursday to a woman who comes up to his elbow.

Bao Xishun, 56, and Xia Shujian, 28, wed in Beijing in a traditional Mongolian ceremony at the tomb of Kublai Khan, the Associated Press reports.

Before they met last year, the groom, who is a herdsman from Inner Mongolia, had been sending out advertisements around the world looking for a bride – but he didn't have to look far. His bride, it turns out, is a saleswoman from his hometown of Chifeng.

For the wedding ceremony Bao wore a specially-designed blue coat topped with a gold vest, and rode to his bride's camp in a cart pulled by two camels. This marriage Thursday was purely ceremonial: The couple already wed at a civil ceremony in March.

Thursday's nuptials were attended by 2,000 people, including relatives, locals and a large crowd of journalists, AP reports.

Last year the Guinness Book of World Records deemed Bao the world's tallest person. Xinhua has said his growth was normal until age 16, when he began growing rapidly and shot up to his current height within seven years.

Bao made headlines in December when he used his long arms to pull dangerous scraps of plastic out of the stomachs of two dolphins, saving their lives. The dolphins had gotten sick after munching on the plastic on the edge of their pool at an aquarium in northeast China, and veterinarians were unable to remove the scraps with surgical instruments.

"Too broke to be your maid of honor" by Liane Yvkoff

The TV no longer sits on a moving box, but she's still using filing cabinets as end tables. Desiree Jacobsen graduated from college years ago, so why does her apartment resemble a dorm room? It's hard to save for the finer things when you've had to shell out money to be in five weddings in one year, three times as maid of honor.
"I shop at the Salvation Army quite a bit to save money," says Jacobsen, 26, a medical editor in Dallas.
Being a bride's maid or matron of honor is a distinction many women cherish. But it also comes with a cost.
On top of the traditional expenses of wedding attire, transportation and chipping in for a gift from the bridesmaids, maids of honor can wind up hosting bridal showers, bachelorette parties and even the co-ed Jack and Jill party -- often footing the bill entirely.
Expectations are reaching bridezilla proportions, a trend Anna Post, spokeswoman for the Emily Post Institute and great-great-granddaughter of the etiquette authority, attributes in part to the extensive coverage of celebrity weddings on television and in style magazines.
Many bridesmaids are left torn between maintaining a friendship and breaking the bank.
When Sarah de Maintenon, a 33-year-old real estate agent in Syracuse, New York, agreed to be her best friend's maid of honor two years ago, the economy was good and houses were selling like hot cakes.
But the currently slow real-estate market means that money has become tight as the big day -- scheduled for October -- slowly approaches.
"I seriously just didn't know. I thought it was just a bachelorette party," says de Maintenon of the events she was expected to throw and attend. Her distress over the destination wedding sent her seeking advice online. The advice she received was simple, but effective: Talk to her friend and be honest about her situation.
"I contemplated telling her I couldn't do it, but I couldn't break her heart," she says. "I was afraid it would cause an argument ... I didn't want to ruin her wedding day."
Jacobsen hasn't skipped a wedding, but she did once skip the pre-wedding bridal portrait, which she would have had to travel out of town to participate in, because she was short on money and vacation time.
"She was upset with me for a little while, but it quickly blew over because I started planning for her bachelorette party." When feelings get hurt, Jacobsen says, she tries not to take it personally. "It's usually because of the stress of the wedding."

"The Bride Wore Very Little" by Ruth Ferla

THE gown was almost wanton — fluid but curvy with a neckline that plummeted dangerously. "It makes me feel sexy and beautiful," said Natasha DaSilva, who slipped it on for a fitting last week.

ALL DRESSED IN LACE? Not exactly, but vampish bridal gowns make flirty use of it. Three oo-la-la looks by Pnina Tornai for Kleinfeld. Cut away at the rear to reveal a tattoo at the small of her back, the dress suggested a languorous night in the honeymoon suite. Except that Ms. DaSilva, who will be married on Long Island in September, plans to wear it at the altar. "Why not?" she asked. "I want to look back in 20 years and feel like I looked hot on my wedding day."

Ms. DaSilva, 26, thinks of herself as adventurous, but not so brash that she is about to cross a line. Dressing for a wedding as if it were an after-party is accepted among her family and friends. "For my generation, looking like a virgin when you marry is completely unappealing, boring even," she said. "Who cares about that part anymore?"

Ms. DaSilva is typical of a growing number of brides flouting convention by flaunting their curves. More vamp than virgin, many are selecting gowns that bare a generous expanse of cleavage, midsection, lower back or thigh, temptress styles that may be better suited to a gala or boudoir than to a church or ballroom.

"Brides today absolutely want to look sexy and glamorous," said Mara Urshel, an owner and the president of Kleinfeld, the venerable Manhattan bridal salon. In recent months, the store has seen a spike in demand for plunging necklines and negligee looks, one that has only intensified since the spring bridal collections began arriving in stores. For brides shopping now for gowns to wear at summer or early fall weddings, "there is a lot of freedom of choice, and these girls exercise every bit of it," Ms. Urshel said.

Determined to look torrid on their wedding day, they are picking dresses modeled, say, on the one worn by Christina Aguilera, who was married in 2005 in a gown with a plummeting neckline and ruffled fishtail hem. Or maybe the hope is to emulate Sarah Jessica Parker, who, in the forthcoming film version of "Sex and the City," spills out of the front of her wedding dress.

"Young women increasingly look to the red carpet for style ideas," said Millie Martini Bratten, the editor in chief of Brides magazine. "They are very aware of how they look," she added. "They diet, they work out. And when they marry, they want to be the celebrity of their own event." To accommodate them, the once rigidly corseted bridal industry has loosened its stays. At the spring bridal shows in New York last October, tastemakers like Vera Wang, Oscar de la Renta, Reem Acra, Angel Sanchez and Carolina Herrera unveiled a preponderance of strapless styles, trumpet shapes and even a few above-the-knee looks. More-daring designers offered filmy peignoir dresses, two-piece looks and skirts slit all the way to the hip.

Some of these va-voom confections seem tailor-made for the bride who envisions the march down the aisle as a long-dreamed-of photo op, and the reception as an after-party on the scale of Oscars night. "Women now are looking at their weddings more like a movie premiere," said Jose Dias, a designer for Sarah Danielle, a New York bridal house.

These steamy fantasies extend to their choice of location. "It used to be that unless you married at home, you were married in a church," Ms. Bratten said. But today fewer weddings take place in a house of worship, and fewer still in the bride's hometown. According to a 2006 survey by Condé Nast Bridal Media, 16 percent of couples choose a destination wedding — a fourfold increase from a decade ago. The same survey found that only 46 percent of brides are married in a church or synagogue, down from 55 percent the year before. With weddings transported to other locales comes a loosening of conventions. Whether they marry in a walled garden, on a tennis court, on a yacht or at the beach, "brides are more focused on the after-party, and on personalizing it," Ms. Bratten said.

Beginning with the gown. Today the prevailing fantasy is no longer, " ‘I want to be a princess in my ball gown,' " Mr. Dias said. "A lot of women have done that already for their prom." Mr. Dias, who is based in Los Angeles, accommodates clients' desires for dresses that echo runway trends with halter-tops and off-the-shoulder gowns that are more emphatically provocative than the strapless looks that have become commonplace. His dresses are cut to appeal to the bride who is "confident in her sexuality," he said.

Similar considerations prompted the designer Monique Lhuillier, a favorite in Hollywood, to fashion a dress with an Empire bodice, wide lace straps and a wispy chiffon skirt — features more often found in a nightgown. A hit of Ms. Lhuillier's spring bridal collection, the dress is available at Kleinfeld.

Wedding ResourcesYielding to clients' demands, Pnina Tornai, an Israeli-born designer, specializes in patently vixenish gowns. Only a couple of years ago Ms. Tornai's dresses — often cut from semi-sheer panels of lace — met with a chilly reception in New York. "When I first came to show my collection at Kleinfeld, I was thrown out the door," she said. Undaunted, she modified her dresses and several months later returned. Today her gowns are among the store's best sellers.

For brides who want to maintain the traditional modesty during the wedding ceremony but cut loose at the reception, there is the increasingly popular option of topping the dress with a shawl, stole or bolero. When Jana Pasquel, a New York society figure and jewelry designer, said her vows in a convent in Mexico City last November, she wore bouffant dress by Vera Wang; effusively romantic, it was traditional except for the neckline, which revealed more than Ms. Pasquel cared to show. Her father, who is Mexican, "is a traditional Catholic," said Ms. Pasquel, 31. "He would not have liked me to walk down the aisle like that, so I had the designer make a cover-up, a kind of a bolero, very full and infanta-looking. It came all the way up to my neck." At a second marriage ceremony later that week on a beach in Acapulco, Ms. Pasquel thought only of pleasing herself. Inspired by a trip to India, she wore a tiny midriff-baring bodice and an abundant skirt made of gold leaf. More sensuous than brazen, it made an impression, she recalled. "People talked about it — a lot."

Catherine Cuddy, an insurance analyst in New Jersey, was similarly focused on turning heads when she married in Bryant Park in New York last October. She dispensed with the customary long, fitted sleeves and train in favor of a halter style that dipped to the small of her back. Even a veil was too much for her. "I didn't want to cover up my dress," said Ms. Cuddy, 33, a self-described Rita Hayworth type. Or the torrents of curls that rushed past her shoulders. Or, for that matter, her gym-toned back. To get in shape for her gown, a white lace sheath that appeared to have been turned on a lathe, she stepped up visits with her trainer from one to three sessions a week. Ms. Cuddy had no thought of defying tradition or making a statement of any kind. She simply wanted to make the most of her curves, she said.

When she marries in Long Island City next fall, Ms. DaSilva, too, will dress as she sees fit — and with her mother's blessing. "My mom loves my gown," she said delightedly. "She thinks it's very figure-flattering." "Oh, no, no, no," Ms. DaSilva said. "Besides, in my family, we're mostly women. It's pretty much — we're in control."

The Bride's Dress Size is Just a Number -- but not the number she's used to
By: Samantha Critchell - Associated Press

The tears streaming down a bride's face the first time she puts on her wedding gown should be tears of joy. Thanks to the quirky sizing system used by many bridal designers, however, she might be crying over the blow to her self-esteem.

"If you think you're a size 6, you're at least an 8 and probably a 10," says Jeff Moore, senior vice president of merchandising and product development at retailer David's Bridal.

Gown designers and salons stress that size is just a number, nothing to worry about, but in the next breath they'll often advise buying a few sizes bigger than the bride is used to for jeans, skirts or cocktail dresses.

Bridal sizing goes back to a scale established during World War II that used data intended for making uniforms, Moore explains. The scale also was used for ready-to-wear clothes, but over time, sportswear adapted its sizes to reflect changing body shapes, while bridal, for the most part, didn't.

In addition, many bridal salons are small, independent shops that don't keep stock of all sizes. A woman who is a size 2 may try on the same actual dress as a woman who is a 12. A salesperson will fasten the smaller woman's gown with what are essentially jumbo paper clips, and use stretchy strips of elastic across the back of a larger woman.

Once the bride decides on the style of her gown, the salon orders the dress according to her measurements ---- and that's another sticking point.

The order is based on the woman's largest measurement: bust, hips or waist. If her hips and waist are an 8 but her bust a 10, she gets the 10; if her bust and waist are 12 but her hips 14, she gets the 14.

Why? In alterations, it's much harder to make a gown bigger than it is to make it smaller.

Designers have a couture mind-set on bridal gowns: They will be fitted to the individual bride's shape through alterations, explains Amsale Aberra, creative director for the high-end Amsale, Kenneth Pool and Christos lines. The size of the original gown is just a starting-off point.

But, she acknowledges, the bride probably isn't thinking that far ahead ---- and the number on the tag can be a roadblock. It can "affect your confidence level. A wedding is when a bride wants to be her thinnest," Aberra says.

Moore agrees: "This has led to a lot of emotional trauma ---- it's not what most retailers and manufacturers are going for." His company, for one, has abandoned both the old size scale and the practice of having one sample dress for all to try on.

Part of the change was to make the process a little less confusing to brides, Moore says. David's Bridal surveyed thousands of them and found that the old sizing guidelines simply didn't resemble America's brides today. Not only have the numbers changed, but so have proportions and body types.

A handful of other gown-makers also have gone to a "true-size system," says Kathleen Murray, deputy editor of TheKnot.com, but she doesn't expect the entire industry to switch over.

"You just have to get over the size thing. You can't look at that number," she says.

"Most of the time, the tailoring and alterations is what makes the dress gorgeous."

Brides expect that their gown will need to be altered, and many even figure in a line item for alterations when planning their budget, Murray says. (TheKnot.com recommends $500.) The bigger shock can come to bridesmaids, she says, who also are often subject to the unfamiliar sizing system. They probably didn't think when they signed on for the job about the extra $100-$200 it will cost to have the dress fitted. Murray advises brides to encourage off-the-rack bridesmaids' dresses, even if they're not designated "bridesmaids' dresses."

"You want the girls to be happy in what they're wearing," she says.

Bridezillas on a Diet

Forget the flowers, reception hall and wedding dress. For many brides-to-be, losing weight is the most important part of the wedding plan. The dress can be altered to fit, but is extreme dieting a healthy strategy? (Stephanie Keith for The New York Times)More than 70 percent of brides-to-be want to lose weight before their wedding day, according to a new study from Cornell University. To reach the perfect wedding-day weight, more than one-third of them use extreme dieting tactics such as diet pills and fasting. And while most of us buy clothes that fit, about one in seven brides-to-be buys a bridal gown that is one or more dress sizes smaller than she normally wears.

"Most women engaged to be married idealize a wedding weight much lighter than their current weight," said co-author Lori Neighbors, assistant professor of nutrition at the University of Wisconsin, Milwaukee. She conducted the study while a graduate student at Cornell’s College of Human Ecology. The study, published online from a forthcoming issue of the journal Appetite, surveyed 272 engaged women. The women surveyed ranged in age from 18 to 51, although the vast majority were under the age of 30. More than half of the women were normal weight, but 24 percent were overweight and 20 percent were obese, based on standard body mass index measures. Just 2 percent fell into the underweight category.

Dr. Neighbors found that 91 percent of the women were worried about their weight, reporting that they wanted to lose weight or were actively trying to prevent weight gain. By comparison, national data show that about 62 percent of similarly aged women have the same concerns. Among the 70 percent of women who were trying to lose weight, the average desired loss was about 21 pounds, not counting three women in the group who were trying to lose more than 100 pounds each.

One surprising finding was that more than 90 percent of brides who wanted to lose weight said they were drinking more water. Extra water consumption was also common among the women trying to maintain their weight. The study authors note that some wedding Web sites promote water as an appetite suppressant, although it wasn’t clear if the brides were drinking water to feel full, avoid eating other foods or displace higher calorie beverages.

Nearly half the brides-to-be were willing to adopt extreme dieting strategies to reach their goal weight by their wedding day. Among extreme dieters, skipping meals and taking unprescribed diet pills and supplements were reported most frequently. About 10 percent of the women used liquid diets, while a fraction of the women started smoking, took laxatives or induced vomiting in order to lose weight.

The prevalence of extreme dieting behavior among brides-to-be is important because rapid weight loss usually isn’t maintained. But the study authors note that because brides-to-be are highly motivated to lose weight, doctors should use an upcoming wedding as an opportunity to discuss more healthful weight loss and eating behaviors.

At the time of the study, the women were still about six months or more away from their big day. But the average weight loss achieved was already about eight pounds, although the numbers varied widely.

"If these losses were maintained after marriage, they would be significant weight management achievements,'’ the authors noted. “Given the pressures of the wedding and beginning a new life as a couple, engaged women should be encouraged to adopt and maintain a healthy lifestyle rather than striving for a fleeting number on a scale or a temporary dress size."

Weddings Are Not The Budget Drains Some Surveys Suggest

Tying the knot costs, on average, nearly $30,000 in the U.S. Three major surveys say so, and a spate of news articles this summer and in prior wedding seasons parrot that figure.

But the typical American wedding appears to cost half that, or even less. The surveys reach couples who are likely to have more-expensive weddings than average. Furthermore, the reported numbers are bigger because of how the surveys define "average."

The so-called average cost -- between $27,400 and $28,800, according to the latest iteration of these surveys -- is a mean. That's the kind of average you might remember from grade-school math: In this case, it's the sum of all the survey responses, divided by the number of people surveyed. The mean is especially susceptible to a single lavish exception: One $1 million wedding put into the mix with 54 weddings costing $10,000 each would boost the mean to $28,000, although among the 55 couples, $10,000 would seem a much better representation of the typical cost.

For the three surveys, the median wedding cost is closer to $15,000. The median is the middle figure when you line up a set of numbers in order of size. It is a popular choice for social statistics because it is unperturbed by very small or very large numbers.

The average wedding last year cost $27,400, according to The Knot Inc.'s email survey in January of 2,014 members of its wedding site, theknot.com, who got married last year. But that group isn't representative of all couples.

Roughly 2.2 million weddings took place last year, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Fewer than 40% of them were members of The Knot, which allows couples to create gift registries and post event information, and to access information on services. And just 40% of members opted to receive email. One-third of those received the wedding survey, and fewer than 2% of those filled it out (a low rate for The Knot, which typically receives 4% to 6% response rates, said a spokeswoman).

The Knot takes steps to ensure that its respondents are representative in terms of geography and household income. But research manager Kristyn Clement acknowledges that The Knot's members may not be typical spenders. "Our market is brides who are planning an actual wedding and putting resources toward that event," Ms. Clement says. "Are there brides who are not spending money on their weddings? Potentially."

Shane McMurray draws survey respondents for his Wedding Report from customers of his Tuscson-based wedding-invitation business, visitors to his costofwedding.com site and other sources. "Is it the best representation" of all couples? Mr. McMurray asks. "Maybe not."

The mean of the latest 1,519 survey responses he has fielded is $28,800, but the median is half that. That's very close to the median figure for The Knot's latest survey: $15,100.

Condé Nast Bridal Media, publisher of the magazines Modern Bride, Elegant Bride and Brides, reports a mean cost of $27,852 from its latest online survey of subscribers and online readers of its magazines, conducted in November 2005. The median cost was $14,182.

Rebecca Mead, staff writer at Condé Nast's New Yorker magazine, writes in her new book, "One Perfect Day: The Selling of the American Wedding," that the survey covered only brides who had made themselves known to the Bridal Group and thereby "already demonstrated an interest in having the kind of wedding that bridal magazines promote."

The surveys have led to other numerical flaws. For instance, Condé Nast's news release about its latest survey trumpeted that the average cost of weddings had nearly doubled, from $15,208, since 1990. That figure was repeated in several news articles. But the 2006 cost of weddings was just $18,057 in 1990 dollars, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics' inflation calculator -- an increase of just 19%, not 100%, in 16 years, or an annual growth rate of under 1.1%.

These cost numbers may help perpetuate themselves, by creating a sense of inevitability for anxious brides and grooms planning their nuptials. "It can confuse and mislead the brides," says Richard Markel, executive director of the Association for Wedding Professionals International.

Ms. Mead, whose own wedding cost was "substantially below" the widely reported numbers, says in an interview that couples who hear the numbers may think, "There's no way around it; there's no alternative. That means, from the perspective of the wedding industry, you have this group of consumers who are resigned to spending a huge amount of money."

Wedding-Bill Blues by Erin White

The sunny 27-year-old from Arlington, Texas, is the kind of friend who, on top of organizing bridesmaids' gifts, picks up knickknacks for the new couple's home and tells her soon-to-be-married gal pals to "just let me take care of the details."

Yet even Colley, a self-professed wedding lover, has become so exasperated with the over-the-top demands on the female members of the wedding party that she nearly split with one newly married friend after the wedding.

"We didn't talk for almost six months," she admits.

For the wedding in question, the bride had expected Colley to not only buy a dress, pay for alterations, pick up new shoes and jewelry, but to attend not one, but 10 showers. Oh, and the bachelorette party? A trip to New York City, paid for by the bridesmaids.

"I didn't really get mad about it at the time," Colley says. "It wasn't until after, when I started adding up all the receipts, and it was like, 'Whoa! I spent like $1,300!' "

Shelling out so much time and cash can make even the most devoted amiga wonder: Are brides pushing their bridesmaids too far?

"I think, certainly, a lot of them do," says Elise Mac Adam, an etiquette-advice columnist for IndieBride.com.

Adding up the extras
The average cost of a wedding is $26,000, an increase of 73 percent in the past 15 years, according to Fairchild Bridal Group. Bridesmaids can expect to spend $1,000 to $1,400 to be in a wedding, experts say. "It's not the dress that's gotten more expensive," says Theresa DiMasi, editor of Brides.com. More events — extra showers, brunches and spa days — add up quickly. The trend of the bachelorette weekend — an entire weekend of activities or, more commonly, a trip to Las Vegas or some other hot spot — ratchets up the cost.

Plus, as young people have spread out across the nation (and the world), wedding-party members have had to pony up more for travel expenses. And the mention of a "destination wedding" — on the beach in the Caribbean or in a vineyard in France — will cause any potential attendant to conjure visions of massive credit-card debt.

Shelley Dodd, a 27-year-old who has been a bridesmaid six times, was in her college roommate's wedding. She says she spent about $800 on the wedding and still got off comparatively lightly because of the short distance she had to travel for the party and wedding.

"You don't mind it, because it's one of your very best friends or your sister, but the cost is definitely something you've got to be aware of," she says.

Etiquette experts, by the way, say that all of Dodd's expenses, save the multiple shower gifts, are perfectly reasonable requests on the part of the bride.

Obsession with the blowout wedding
April Ragsdale, a certified wedding consultant, says she's seen the time commitment for bridesmaids increase considerably in the past few years.

"It's not the bridesmaid's job to help you address invitations or make the favors," she says, though many a bride magazine suggests often that brides "delegate" such tasks to friends and bridesmaids.

She blames the Western culture's increasing obsession with the "blowout" wedding.

Mac Adam says that she frequently comes across articles that encourage brides to add "traditional" tidbits such as brunches or extra showers to their wedding events — which aren't traditional at all.

"They call it 'traditional-esque,' " she says. The bachelorette weekend, she says, evolved from the idea of a simple luncheon, and today's $300 bridesmaid dresses started as simpler frocks made by family or purchased at a discount rate from a friendly retailer.

These increased demands leave many young women with an uncomfortable dilemma: Disappoint a friend by turning down her request to be a bridesmaid or empty out the bank account for someone else's special day.

"A lot of [brides] come with unrealistic expectations. Anyone who thinks that it is a sign of an insubstantial friendship that someone says 'I can't afford something' or 'That interferes with my commitment to my career' is asking too much," says Mac Adam.

Recently, Brides.com's DiMasi says, an acquaintance pulled her aside at a cocktail party and asked for advice: She had agreed to be maid of honor for a woman she'd known since early childhood but was balking at participating as the expenses mounted. Tickets for the cruise-ship wedding alone would be $2,500, and because she didn't want to go alone, the maid of honor was considering inviting — and paying for — a guest. She also wondered if she should host a bachelorette party.

"And she works on her own, so she was looking at taking a few weeks off work when she wouldn't get paid," DiMasi says.

A bride asking for that sort of extravagance, without having an honest conversation with her bridal party about their ability to pay, is, frankly, inconsiderate and irresponsible, DiMasi says. She says she encouraged the woman to first weigh the importance of the friendship and then talk frankly with the bride to see if they could come up with a way to ease her financial burden.

How to say no and still be nice
Both Colley and Ragsdale stress that saying no — whether to the entire idea of being a bridesmaid or to one particular demand — needs to be handled gently and tactfully.

"If this person has asked you to be in their wedding, they obviously think of you as a close friend, and you don't want to hurt their feelings," Colley says. She once felt obligated to decline an invitation because she thought the soon-to-be-groom treated her friend badly.

Instead of saying, "I think you're marrying a jerk," she just said, "I really can't afford it." Then she offered to pinch-hit where she could, a strategy Ragsdale recommends for any girl who wants to shimmy out of the wedding party. Offer to throw a shower, to put together favors or to help on the wedding day, Ragsdale says.

Colley says that her experiences have taught her that the bride might be cooler than you're giving her credit for being.

"Sometimes, it's the bridesmaids saying, 'Oh, my gosh, we have to do this. She wants us to do this' when, really, the bride doesn't care," Colley says.

And although brides do have a responsibility to not mistake their friends for paid staff, Colley says the bridesmaids will have much more fun if they remember that they need to support their friend, the bride — even if she is being a jerk at the moment.

"She might be acting crazy right now, but she'll get over it," Colley says. "The thing to remember is that your friend is under a lot of stress. Her whole life is about to change. It's not her job to hold your hand. It's your job to hold hers."

Within reason, of course.

Wedding Blues

"One of the best fashion marriages is that of wedding white and something blue. But there's no reason to settle for a cheesy beribboned garter when you can upgrade to a gorgeous azure bauble. Mimi So's stunning cocktail ring, featuring a hefty 15-carat marquise-cut aquamarine surrounded by pave diamonds, will add dazzle to any wedding ensemble. And for brides who like to double up on tradition, some items work for "something old" as well as blue. Cartier's cuff in platinum, pool blue aquamarines and diamonds dates to the Art Deco era, while Fred Leighton offers an 18-karat yellow gold and platinum compact, circa 1920, with moonstones, lapis lazuli and diamonds-just the thing for essential touch-ups at the reception.

"Brides-to-Be Call the Shots In Ring Style"

"Once upon a time, when a man proposed, he gave a woman a shiny, solitaire-diamond engagement ring. It was the standard. It's probably what her friends had and she was eager to join the club.

Fast forward to 2007: It's now the norm for a woman to influence what her engagement ring will look like -- if not to pick it out herself, says Mary Moses Kinney, director of the Independent Jewelers Organization.

The result is bigger stones, nontraditional settings and some rings that forgo the diamond altogether. . . ."

"Cotton for Brides" & "Cotton on the Aisle"

"Cotton for Brides"
It may seem cliché, but June is still the most popular month for weddings; followed by August, September and October. Given the popularity of these warmer months, it is no wonder that cool, comfortable cotton bridal dresses have emerged as a trend.

Another trend buoying the use of cotton in wedding gowns is the "destination wedding," where the bride and groom --- over 500,000 a year --- invite guests to witness their union in an exotic locale. Often, the newlyweds stay at the destination for their honeymoon. The most popular honeymoon destinations are typically Las Vegas, Hawaii, the Caribbean and Jamaica. Again, warm regions where breatheable fabrics are a must---especially for a wedding day.

To lend a hand to any of our site visitors who might be planning or helping to plan a wedding, we have assembled a collection of cotton bridal gowns and wedding dress featuring cotton lace for your review. Now, we usually include prices, but the links on these pages will actually take you to sites where you can find a local retailer. Prices will vary region to region and because of any tailoring that must be done. And ladies, tailoring must be done. The wedding day is among the most important in a woman's life and it (and she) should be picture perfect.

One last word of advice: the average woman in the United States spends around $800.00 for a wedding dress. Some will spend more, or less, but that figure is a good average for putting together your own bridal budget.

"Cotton on the Aisle"
Cotton Wedding Dresses Range from Theatrical to Demure The wedding day has a sense of pageantry that often borders on theatricality. And why not? It is perhaps the most special day in a woman's life. It is also among the most stressful. This Thai bride knows a secret that is spreading among many bridal designers and U.S. brides - cotton. As is traditional in Thailand, her dress is made from handwoven cotton and combines comfort with undeniable style.

Over the past five years or so, the popularity of denim and of destination weddings in warm climates has elevated cotton to the realm of bridal couture. This is evident in the most recent fashion shows in New York, Paris and London, where cotton figured prominently. It is an ideal fabric choice for a bride because it is versatile from a design point of view, and comfortable and breathable for a bride's peace of mind.

For weddings demure, daring or in a tropical destination, cotton is a versatile canvas to create a memorable occasion. From delicate Swiss dot on an empire waist, to a good ole fashion Wild West hitchin', cotton is truly a fabric for all occasions.

Collected below is an updated collection of bridal gowns from across the United States that demonstrate the range of very affordable bridal options in cotton.

U.S. divorce rate falls to lowest level since 1970

NEW YORK (AP) - By the numbers, divorce just isn't what it used to be.
Despite the common notion that America remains plagued by a divorce epidemic, the national per capita divorce rate has declined steadily since its peak in 1981 and is now at its lowest level since 1970. Yet Americans aren't necessarily making better choices about their long-term relationships. Even those who study marriage and work to make it more successful can't decide whether the trend is grounds for celebration or cynicism.

Some experts say relationships are as unstable as ever — and divorces are down primarily because more couples live together without marrying. Other researchers have documented what they call "the divorce divide," contending that divorce rates are indeed falling substantively among college-educated couples but not among less-affluent, less-educated couples.

'Families with two earners with good jobs have seen an improvement in their standard of living, which leads to less tension at home and lower probability of divorce,' said Andrew Cherlin, a professor of public policy at Johns Hopkins University. America's divorce rate began climbing in the late 1960s and skyrocketed during the '70s and early '80s, as virtually every state adopted no-fault divorce laws. The rate peaked at 5.3 divorces per 1,000 people in 1981.

But since then it's dropped by one-third, to 3.6. That's the lowest rate since 1970. What's fueling that decline? According to 20 scholars, marriage-promotion experts and divorce lawyers consulted by The Associated Press, a combination of things. The number of couples who live together without marrying has increased tenfold since 1960; the marriage rate has dropped by nearly 30 percent in past 25 years; and Americans are waiting about five years longer to marry than they did in 1970.

Adding such factors together, Patrick Fagan of the conservative Heritage Foundation sees a bad situation.

'Cohabitation is very fragile, and when unmarried parents split, for the child it might as well be a divorce,' Fagan said. 'Among those who are marrying there's increased stability, but overall the children of the nation are getting a rawer and rawer deal from their parents.'

Yahoo News: March 15, 2007

"US couples make beeline for 777 wedding date," by Jocelyne Zablit

WASHINGTON (AFP) - Thousands of starry-eyed couples across the United States will be tying the knot on July 7 this year, hoping the almost numerically perfect 7/7/07 combination will prove a perfect match.

Wedding planners, hotel operators and travel agencies are reporting record numbers of reservations and are struggling to meet the demand for that day, which also falls on a Saturday.

"We have over 31,000 weddings planned for that day when typically on a Saturday in July, the most popular month for weddings, we have about 12,000 weddings taking place," Kathleen Murray, deputy editor of the theknot.com, a wedding planning site, told AFP. "This is the biggest day I've seen in recent years," she added.

Nicole Hendrickson, 24, of the eastern state of Massachusetts, said she decided to become a "7/7/07 bride" for the fun of it and in the hope that her future husband would never forget their wedding anniversary.

"I knew I wanted to get married on a Saturday and triple sevens are lucky so this is the perfect match," she said. "And it's definitely going to help him (her fiance) so he won't have any excuses to forget the date."

Las Vegas, the country's gambling mecca and one of the top destinations for weddings, is bracing for an onslaught of couples wanting to walk down the aisle on July 7, and wedding chapels across the city are planning to open extra hours that day to accommodate demand, officials said.

One of them, Graceland Wedding Chapel, is already solidly booked and will be open from 8:00 am to midnight with a ceremony taking place every 15 minutes.

"People gravitate toward any date like this that is memorable and of course, this being a gaming city, 777 has connotations of good luck," said Erika Pope of the Las Vegas Convention and Visitor Center. "I think people will be delighted to say they got married on 777 in Las Vegas."

Several hotel chains are offering special deals that weekend, including the Ritz-Carlton, which is promoting "Lucky 7's Packages" priced at 7,707 dollars or 777 dollars (5,830 or 587 euros).

"We are averaging two to six calls per week regarding potential weddings for July 7," said Marina Nicola, a spokeswoman for the Ritz-Carlton in Las Vegas.

She said two weddings were already booked for that day at the hotel.

JoAnn Gregoli, a New York wedding planner, said she had agreed to handle two weddings on the weekend of July 7 and had turned down several other requests.

"You hear from everyone in the business that the day is booked," Gregoli said. "It's just a matter of people being superstitious and it's a good luck number and an easy one to remember."

She said one of the two couples she is working with has decided to incorporate the date in just about every aspect of their wedding with seven people seated at each table, seven lottery tickets offered each guest for good luck, seven bridesmaids and groomsmen and seven red or white roses for each floral arrangement.

"Everything is going to be seven," Gregoli chuckled.

Leslie Lorenz, 24, a graphic designer from the southeastern state of Florida, said even though she and her fiance picked July 7 as their wedding date two years ago they were still having trouble finding a DJ and florist for the big day.

"We thought it would be kind of fun, but it's become more of a hassle than it's worth because a lot of the vendors are booked," she said.

Murray advised prospective spouses who still haven't booked their wedding venue for July 7 to remain open-minded as it is unlikely they will find any availability at this point.

"You shouldn't let the date ruin your day," she said. "Just go with another choice and try to find creative means to make it work."

Bride's Magazine: Bridal Trend Watch, 2007

"2007 Wedding Statistics for Lingerie, Attendant Gifts & Apparel"

Bridal Guide magazine's "Bridal Trend Watch" gives us some interesting statistics that should be fun for you to look over. About Lingerie . . .
Ninety-seven percent of the survey takers said that they will purchase new lingerie to wear under their bridal gown. Three percent said they wouldn't be wearing anything. Seventy-six percent indicated that they would shop for lingerie like what is available at Victoria's Secret. While 29% said they would choose styles like those in Frederick's of Hollywood. Two percent said they would be buying their lingerie from the Gap.

About Jewelry . . .
Seventy-nine percent of brides plan to buy new jewelry for their wedding day and/or for their honeymoon. The average expenditure is anticipated to be $176 and come to a total of $304 million in sales.

Gifts for Attendants . . .
Most brides (96%) percent are planning to buy gifts for their attendants and most will buy jewelry (63%, silver jewelry or accessories, 31% jewelry boxes, 14% pearls, 13% gold jewelry). On average, brides plan to spend $65 on each attendant. An average wedding party has eight attendants, which comes to a total expenditure of $520.

Destination-Weekend-Wedding Wear . . .
Eighty-three percent of brides will wear either a formal or semiformal gown. Seventy-three percent of grooms will wear a tuxedo or suit.

Newletter of Congregation Agudath Israel, Kingston, NY, December, 2006

"The Jilted Bride, a Lesson" by Rabbi Shea Hecht
Kyle Paxman's wedding fell apart six weeks before it was supposed to take place. Awful things happen to many of us on different levels every single day. We all hope that when the time comes we can react the right way - the way we fantasize that we would - seeing the good in everything and turning a negative experience into something positive.

When Kyle heard the news that her fiance called their wedding off, she reacted just the way we all hope we would. She turned the negative into something very positive.

"The dress had arrived, the flowers were done, the menus were chosen," said Ms. Paxman, manager of two food and beverage outlets in Carlsbad, California. "One hundred and eighty guests had tickets from all over the country to come and make a weekend of my wedding." But rather than cancel the reception, Ms. Paxman turned it into a charity benefit. "I preferred to turn my awful situation into something positive and start the healing process."

Right after the bad news, her mother began canceling reservations and events, but the family was still on the hook for the reception costs, a block of rooms in a hotel and other expenses. "We already spent the money, and I tried to think of ways to put 'things we bought to use," Mrs. Carbee said.

Ms. Paxman and her parents invited 125 women to enjoy cocktails and a four-course dinner, in hopes that they will write checks to two charities she chose.

"She's not only empowering herself, she's reaching out and helping empower others," said Bibiana Betancourt, a fund-raising executive who found this to be the most unusual story she had encountered.

Kyle Paxman said she did not know whether her former fiance, whom she declined to name, knew what she was doing. "It's going to be hard, of f course," she said about appearing before her guests. "But the end of my story now isn't so awful."

It is inspiring that a person can get through something so traumatic and If still remain strong. Kyle Paxman had every reason to gripe, complain about and denounce the one who wronged her, yet she refused to name the groom.

I learned an incredible lesson from the "Jilted Bride"- that one can make lemonade out of lemons. The charities that will benefit from the canceled wedding will be eternally grateful that Kyle Paxman decided to get up, brush herself off and move on - converting her bad experience into good.

Sunday Freeman, December 3, 2006, Associated Press

"Wedding Moves to Hospital Cafeteria"
ALBANY — At one hospital in upstate New York, wedding bells were ringing Saturday. After Ken Hanson, 63, of Tribes Hill, was run over by a dump truck and hospitalized Wednesday, it looked like he would miss his daughter's weekend wedding. But when administrators at Albany Medical Center learned of Hanson's dilemma, they arranged to have the wedding at the hospital chapel. When his hospital bed wouldn't fit through the chapel doors, the ceremony was moved to the cafeteria. "I may be wheeling him down the aisle," his daughter, Sherry Hanson, said Friday night. Sherry Hanson and Eric Gifford, both 25, were married before about 30 friends and family members. Flower girls sprinkled red and white rose petals on the cafeteria floor and a friend of the family played the piano, which had been wheeled in from the hospital chapel. Ken Hanson wasn't strong enough to change out of his hospital gown, so family members laid his tuxedo shirt and vest on top of him. "He was groggy, but he was fighting to stay awake," said Nicole Pitaniello, a hospital spokeswoman. The couple, who live in North Carolina, planned to "hold the wedding all over again" as originally planned in Johnstown, 38 miles away, after the ceremony at the hospital. "Accidents do happen. As long as he gets to be there for the ceremony, that's all that matters. We'll carry on and have a good time," Gifford said Friday night. The back of Hanson's left leg was lacerated when he tried to step onto the back of a dump truck and fell. Bones in his left foot were broken and he lost a considerable amount of blood in the accident, said Carl Rosati, a trauma surgeon who treated him. Hanson was expected to be released within a week.

New York Times, July 23, 2006

"To Avert a Fractured Fairy Tale, a Wedding Planner" By FRANCINE PARNES
LIZ SECCURO, a wedding planner, has organized many lavish weddings that cost in the high six figures. And she has arranged others for a tenth of those prices and has found that they can run more smoothly and, she said, exude more taste.

In fact, she observed, more money can mean more that can go morbidly awry. "We once had a bride who was so obsessed with butterflies that she wanted to release live butterflies at her reception," said Ms. Seccuro, creative director of Dolce Parties in Greenwich, Conn., and Manhattan. "When we freed them from their nets, they flew towards the massive light installations we had ordered, burned to a crisp and fell, in hundreds, to the dance floor."

She added: "Price of butterflies: $10,000. Dead butterflies in your guests' hair and cleavage: priceless."

Do you think that planning the dinner seating chart for fussy relatives and in-laws seems arduous? It's hardly the only bump on the road to saying "I do." The average American wedding now runs a hefty $27,852, almost double the $15,208 spent in 1990, according to a study by the Condé Nast Bridal Group. Some 36 percent of couples spend more than they had planned, and only 30 percent of brides' parents pay for the whole event, down 8 percentage points since 1999.

"I cannot think of a single wedding that I did that ever cost exactly what the client originally had in mind," said Colin Cowie, who describes himself as a "wedding designer and producer" and has orchestrated the weddings of Jerry Seinfeld, Kelsey Grammer and Lisa Kudrow. Couples become "merchandised and seduced," he said.

Mr. Cowie, the chief executive of Colin Cowie Lifestyle in New York, Los Angeles and Miami, added: "On the high end of spending, it's become a world of specializing: finding a great name chef to preside over the food, a celebrity entertainer, a destination wedding that requires guests to fly somewhere in the Caribbean."

If stars splurge, the masses follow. "In the past year or two," said Millie Martini Bratten, editor in chief of Brides magazine in New York, "we're seeing more couples include extravagant gestures such as blanketing an entire ballroom with flowers or staging a pre-wedding party with a theme, worthy of being photographed by a magazine. Celebrities always captivate attention. When Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston shot off fireworks, more people said, ‘Wow, I like that idea, I'll do that, too.' "

And just one wedding dress may not be enough. "Brides sometimes undergo as many as three or four dress changes," said Arthur F. Backal, chief executive of State of the Art Enterprises, an event planning company in Manhattan, with guests often moving "from room to room, with different themes, décors, menus and entertainment in each."

Overspending on weddings has "escalated out of control," said Marina Luri-Clark, whose company, A Hop Skip and a Jump, in West Hartford, Conn., plans destination events worldwide. "For the most part, my clients are reasonable and consider a destination wedding a way to celebrate over four or five days with their closest family and friends," she said. "But sometimes the parents want to impress their friends. So many people influence a bride that it's easy to lose track of spending."

"It becomes this enormous beast," she added. "Suddenly the simple beach wedding has become a five-day extravaganza with pastries flown in from Paris."

But ingenuity and imagination may suffice when dollars don't. Kathleen Schwark, 28, a bartender in Novato, Calif., and Kevin Steppler, 29, an auto mechanic in San Rafael, Calif., have set a $10,000 budget for their wedding in October. For her gown, Ms. Schwark waited until prom dresses went on sale and snapped up a white one for $115. She is springing for $20 worth of embellishments, some colored to match her bridesmaids' dresses.

The tables will have crossword puzzles and other word games instead of favors. "The questions and answers are about us: our middle names, number of bones Kevin has broken, city of engagement," she said. "No one guest will know all the answers; they'll just have to talk to each other."

Romance notwithstanding, getting the most from the high cost has become essential for many couples.

"A wedding is also a business transaction involving thousands of dollars — and an opportunity to bargain and save hundreds, if not thousands, of dollars," said Shirit Kronzon, a lecturer at the Wharton School of Business of the University of Pennsylvania who wrote "The Bargaining Bride" (New Page Books, 2005) with Andrew Ward, associate professor of psychology at Swarthmore College. "Most elements of the wedding are negotiable."

Ms. Kronzon added: "If you're buying a car for $20,000, you might not think twice about holding firm to your bottom line and also bargaining for extras like an extended warranty. But when it comes to a wedding, we're less aggressive."

You needn't be a pit bull to get a bargain, she said. "You don't have to think of it as a formal, tough, adversarial negotiation," she said. "You just have to frame it as asking a question: ‘What specials or promotions are you currently offering? Can you discount the gown or give me more photos for the same price?' "

One potential money trap is an expensive outdoor wedding — with no Plan B for bad weather.

Consider the bride who insisted that her cocktail reception be held on a tennis court carpeted "in pure snowy white," said Ms. Seccuro, the event planner, who had the area covered with a tent for $40,000. "I repeatedly warned her that white would be a disaster if it rained. Of course, it rained." With both carpet and reception spoiled by muddy footprints as guests entered the tent from their cars, they had to be shuffled into the dinner tent far earlier than planned, confounding the precise serving schedule.

But isn't hiring a wedding planner just one more assault on the budget?

Carley Roney, co-founder of TheKnot.com, which helps brides-to-be plan their weddings, says she doesn't think so. "You give them a budget, and their job is to make the wedding happen in that budget," she said. "By not overspending, they can save thousands of dollars."

Ms. Roney added: "There are so many overlooked expenses that people don't calculate as part of their budget." Consider tipping: 15 percent of a $20,000 catering bill means an additional $3,000. Or, she said, "if you're holding your wedding at a popular beach site, a difference of one weekend can bring you from high-season rates to off-season rates."

Some newlyweds concoct creative ways, whether tasteful or tacky, for guests to help with expenses.

Ms. Seccuro said she would never forget one couple who, when it was time to register for gifts, "actually sent blueprints of a house they were building upstate to all the wedding guests, inviting them to ‘buy' a door, a window, the kitchen floors, an appliance." They "wanted their guests to pay for their house," she said. "They remain to this date the only client I have fired."

AT least they kept their eye on the prize. "What I often witness is that brides get so fixated on the perfect rose or bridesmaid dresses that they almost forget why they are getting married and to whom," said Ms. Luri-Clark, the destination event planner.

"I organized and can attest to a total dog-and-pony show" for one wealthy bride a few years back, she said. "Everything had to be perfectly color-coordinated in cream and forest green, from the invitations to the flower children's outfits to the tablecloths; we spent a fortune just matching colors. Then the bride wanted a video of her and her husband growing up, produced and projected on an enormous screen in the garden of her historic villa. It could have been a Hollywood movie. The amount spent on catering, décor, lighting and more for their 750 guests was astronomical."

She added: "The couple is already divorced." May 26, 2006

An increasing number of ready-to-wear designers are finding their way into the wedding gown market. Most recently designers like Carolina Herrera, Badggley Mischka and Oscar de la Renta have presented bridal lines. Only large design houses feel able to take on a bridal line, which leaves the smaller houses to make the occasional gown for a special client. The best recognized bridal gown designer is a title that is still held by Vera Wang, who "W Magazine" has dubbed "the grand empress of ready-to-wear-meets-bridal."

February 5. 2006 . . . from the Daily Freeman, Associated Press
Washington -

They are the Pentagon's new "rules of engagement" — the diamond ring kind. U.S. Army chaplains are trying to teach troops how to pick the right spouse, through a program called "How To Avoid Marrying a Jerk."

The matchmaking advice comes as military family life is being stressed by two tough wars. Defense Department records show more than 56,000 in the Army — active, National Guard and Reserve — have divorced since the campaign in Afghanistan started in 2001.

Officials partly blame long and repeated deployments which started after the invasion of Iraq in 2003 and stretched the service thin. Many come back better people, others worse-off — but either way, very changed from who they were when they wed.

"Being in the military certainly raises the stakes when you choose a mate," said Lt. Col. Peter Frederich, head of family issues in the Pentagon's chaplain office. THE "NO JERKS" program is also called "P.I.C.K. a Partner," for Premarital Interpersonal Choices and Knowledge. It advises the marriage-bound to study a partner's F.A.C.E.S. — family background, attitudes, compatibility, experiences in previous relationships and skills they'd bring to the union. It teaches the lovestruck to pace themselves with a R.A.M. chart — the Relationship Attachment Model — which basically says don't let your sexual involvement exceed your level of commitment or level of knowledge about the other person.

Maj. John Kegley, a chaplain who teaches the program in Monterey, Calif., throws in the "no jerk salute" for fun. One hand at the heart, two-fingers at the brow mean use your heart and brain when choosing.

Though the acronyms and salute make it sound like something the Pentagon would come up with, the program was created by former minister John Van Epp of Ohio, who has a doctorate in psychology and a private counseling practice. He teaches it to Army chaplains, who in turn teach it to troops. It also is used by social service agencies, prisons, churches and other civilian groups. Commanders once discouraged troops from starting a family while serving. Thus the old saying: "If the Army wanted you to have a wife, it would have issued you one."

Today, the military supports families more than any other employer, Frederich said. The Bush administration proposes to spend $5.6 billion in the next budget year for quality-of-life services for troops and their families.

That includes help with child care, education, spouse job hunting, legal assistance, commissaries, relocation counseling — programs on every family issue imaginable — to promote stability, and thus troop readiness.

Such support notwithstanding, "not everybody is cut out" to marry into the military, said Army spokeswoman Martha Rudd. The Army hopes the "no jerks" program will help couples decide if they are ready for a long-term commitment and can cope with the unique stresses of military life.

"Settings like military bases are incubators," said Van Epp, of Medina, Ohio. They try to hatch ... relationships extremely fast," leading to higher divorce rates and more domestic violence.

January 31, 2005 . . . from TheWeddingReport.com

Couples Will Spend More Than $7.9 Billion Online for Their Weddings in 2006
Recent results from a wedding survey conducted by www.theweddingreport.com show that 77% of couples will use the Internet to help plan their wedding. As related to their engagement, wedding, honeymoon, and time after, 43% will use the Internet to research products and services, while 13% will purchase products and services. These results are based on a sample of 499 surveys.

"We estimated 2,271,910 weddings with an average wedding cost of $26,800 for 2006. 976,921 (43%) of those weddings will research products and services online while 295,348 (13%) weddings will buy products and services online. We believe this makes the online wedding market worth over $7.9 billion," said Shane McMurray.

Topping the research online list; Wedding Cake (60%), Wedding Dress (58%), and Bride Bouquet 58%). While New or Used Car (25%), Financial Services (27%), and Insurance (29%) appeared at the bottom of the research online list.

Topping the buy online list; Wedding Favors (32%), Attendant Gifts (31%), and Invitations & Reply Cards (29%). While New or Used Car (3%), A Home (4%), Engagement Dinner (4%) appeared at the bottom of the buy online list.

December, 2005 . . . from Fairchild Wedding Group's The American Wedding 2005"

The Echo Boomers Are Coming
The next large population group that will be coming into the wedding marketplace are the 27ish-year-olds of Generation Y. The group is techically sophisticated, well-educated and have large spending power. The Group consists of some 71 million men and women born between the years 1979 and 2002, making Generation Y twice the size of its predecessor, Generation X. That translates to an increase in the numbers of weddings.

December, 2005 . . . from Vows, The Bridal & Weddng Business Journal

Marriage Statistics from the US Census Bureau and National Center for Health Statistics contain updates through June, 2005.
The ratio of marriages to divorces is 2 to 1
Marital Status for Females 15 and over (1950 - 2004) shows that the population of unmarried women will soon surpass the number of married women.
The number of Unmarried Couple Households (liveins) is increasing steadily.

From the WeddingReport.com
April 2005 weddings down 5.6% over April 2004.
The number of weddings was down 5.6% for April 2005 compared to April 2004. The total number of weddings for April 2005 was 152,000 compared to 161,000 in April 2004.
Third quarter wedding cost were up by 2.3% The estimated cost of a wedding for 3rd quarter ending 2005 was up by an average 2.3% over 2nd quarter 2005 from $25,200 to $25,770. This is $1,070 or 4.2% increase in cost since the first quarter.

November, 2005 . . . from The Wedding Channel

No Regrets
Brides would spend more on videography and photography if they could plan their wedding over again!
These newlyweds have no regrets and 85% of the couples surveyed said they would spend the same amount of money if they could do it all over again.


November, 2005 . . . from The Wedding Channel

Honeymoon Statistics
Couples spend about four thousand dommars on their honeymoons. Usually they pay for the honeymoon on their own. The top ranking destinations are the Caribbean and Hawaii, because of their warm climate. More than half of the couples surveyed indicated that their honeymoons lasted ten days or less.

November, 2005 . . . from The Wedding Channel

Who Has the Money, Honey?
Where once it was thge bride's family that covered the cost of a wedding, today's bride and her family pay for only 25% of the cost. Thirty-one percent of wedding csosts are covered by both families and more than 26% are paid for by the bride and groom.

Wedding Cancellation & Divorce
Utilizing data from pre-marital counseling, it is estimated that approximately 20% of couples call off the wedding. That is almost 500,000 people per year. The cancellations are a result of many factors, including fear of commitment, anxiety over a new role, doubts over the chosen partner and other concerns. Statistics show that the larger the wedding, the more likely it is to be canceled. Many couples spend more time planning the wedding than they do actually talking about the marriage. Counselors suggest that with a divorce rate of over 50% for first time marriages, couples should discuss, at least, the top three issues about which couples fight: money, children and sex.


Monday, November 7, 2005 . . . from Bazaar Magazine . . .

Jewelry: What's Hot & What's Not
Jewelry styles are cyclical, so following what's trendy doesn't mean getting rid of jewelry, it means merely that some pieces need to be retired, for a while.

Sometimes what's hot simply means a new twist to an old look. Brooches, cyclically popular on lapels, today, are giving way to brooches worn in the air. Elizabeth Taylor, a collector of fine jewelry, wore one of her magnificent brooches, a butterfly, in her hair, to a recent not-for-profit opening.


Watches, one strictly a device for telling time, had a rebirth with inexpensive, funky styles that "spoke" young people. That style today, has giving way to a return to more classic styles, such as traditional, masculine, chunky men's watches.

"A ring on every finger" can belittle, especially pieces with diamonds or other fine stones. Instead, today's trend leans toward the selection of one amazing, show-off cocktail ring, leaving all the other fingers "bare."

Jewelry suites consisting of matching pieces on the hand, wrist and neck, have given way to allow lots of different pieces, with lots of different stones, all worn together.

Today's rule of thumb is "get it out of the safe-deposit box." Fine jewelry, once delegated to only special occasions, has "graduated" and today every piece of jewelry is appropriate at any time . . . so much more bang for your buck.

Chunky and chunky "punk" chains are out, while layering of dainty necklaces is in.

The minimalist look, as in tiny studs, is "what's not." Instead bold styles, particularly, gold drop earrings, are "hot."

Color, dazzle, mix and match, lots of colors, layering, new ways to wear "old" favorites are all what's hot today.

Thursday, October 13, 2005 . . .

A Census Bureau study found the following regarding marriage habits of men and women today:

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